As Paul McCartney would say, "It's just another day." That sums up my feelings about June 8th. It hasn't always been that way.
The only thing I struggle with today is the fact that my son never got to meet his grandfather. I feel like he has been robbed. I don't think that feeling will ever change. Desmond is fortunate-his other three grandparents are alive and thriving, and he is lucky to have them, but fate shafted him six years ago today.
Today was a good day. We lounged until noon and then went to look at a house before ending up at my mother's for dinner. All the time that we were there, I kept thinking the same thing, something that I've known for quite a while:
My mother is an amazing human being.
Growing up, Mom was the person who kept us to our schedule and made sure our work got done. We never woke up for school and had to get breakfast for ourselves; she always saw us walk out the door and was there when we came home later that afternoon.
Our parents were concerned with us being good people. We learned manners and were expected to use them. We behaved ourselves in public. We said please and thank you all of the time. We were polite and respectful in school.
I had a bit of a rebellious side once I became a teenager; I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I never agreed with anything my mother said, and I had no problem letting her know. I never swore or threatened her, but we had some blowout arguments. It drove my father nuts. If he said it to me once, he said it a billion times: "Why can't you just shut the hell up?" I did, finally, around eighteen, I think. Um, maybe twenty. To be honest, I can't remember the last time we argued.
My grandmother passed away in July 1995. For the last ten years or so of her life, she needed a lot of help, and much of that burden fell on my mother. I know it wasn't easyfor her, as it was the first time I realized how much effort goes into caring for the elderly, and that doesn't even consider the difficulty in watching someone you love age, but she did everything she could to help Gram. It was a lesson in what a person is supposed to do, one that I have never forgotten. I know my grandmother spent the last years of her life comfortable in knowing that people loved her and she was not forgotten.
My mother became a grandmother for the first time when she was in her early fifties, and she has four grandchildren now. I love watching her interact with all of them. One is 22, another 8, and another almost 18 months (along with my son Desmond, almost 6 months). She dotes on them but does not overdo it. All four of her grandkids absolutely adore her.
Nine years ago, when my sister married, my parents found themselves alone. I moved out in 1994. There has never been a day when I haven't felt like I couldn't show up there anytime. My folks made it very clear that even if we didn't live there it was always our home. We had so many fun and wonderful times there after all three of us were out on our own.
And six years ago, everything changed when my father died. As devastated as we all were, we were also very concerned with our mother, who had been with my father since 1956. It seemed like all that ended in the snap of a finger, and I couldn't imagine how that could possibly feel.
It was amazingly difficult time, and in the week that we were all together, from the night he died until we tried to get back to "normal" life, my mother was what held us all together. She's deny that and say that it was her three kids that kept her going, but we all know better. It was because of her that the night of his wake we spent 99% of the time laughing and sharing wonderful stories instead of being sorrowful. It was because of her that we spent the following week celebrating the life of our father instead of wallowing in the shock and grief of losing him.
She kept us going. She has been amazing since my father died. Of course we know that she misses him terribly, as we all do, but soon after his death she decided that she had to keep living. Every once in while she'd tell me that she had a dream where my father told my mother that she would be coming to him soon, and shewould always say the same thing: "I'm not ready to join him. I still have a lot to live for."
Damn right she does. She continues to make her house open to us all of the time. I just turned 41, and I still am able to go to the place that I grew up in with my siblings and our families, and we still have great times, just like we did years ago. I don't know too many people who can still do that. My mother gets embarrassed whenever I thank her for everything she does for us at her home, saying that it is not a big deal and that she enjoys it, but it is a big deal. She could have very easily withdrew from that house and moved somewhere else, but she wanted to keep her life. And we are so thankful that she did.
My mother is amazing. I could spend the next couple of days giving examples. She has grace, style and wit. She loves her family unconditionally. She is giving, compassionate and fun to be around. She has given us many examples to follow throughout our lives, but none greater than what she has done for the last six years-shown us how to go on after suffering a great loss. We live everyday with the memory of our father glowing inside of us like a white-hot star, burning forever.
My father was a great man, and I miss him more with each passing day. He lives on in many ways, and I wonder how that would be if my mother had not shown us the way to keep on living. Thank God for her.
I've felt that way for forty-one years, but never stronger than I do now. And I know a lot of other people that feel the same way.
We love you, Mom. Always have, always will, and we will never be able to properly show you the appreciation for everything that you have done for us. You are amazing.
08 June 2008
16 May 2008
Fingers crossed
I'm still frosted by the other night. I wrote about mothers, and it took me a while, and in the blink of an eye it disappeared. And now it seems too late to redo it. Anyway, it was cool to see my son and my wife celebrate their first Mother's Day together, but in reality I think that every day since December 21 has been Mother's Day, and it always will be Mother's Day from now on.
I have one more thought about this, but I will save it for a while later.
Some quick other thoughts:
-I'm ecstatic about the gay marriage ruling in California for no other reason than it makes the uber-conservatives froth at the mouth, which reinforces that the GOP is the party of discrimination. I can't get enough of the Dr. James Dobsons of the world hyperventilating about "traditional" marriage being "under attack." I can't help but wonder if they all have a little bit of Ted Haggard brewing inside of them. Otherwise, why are they so concerned? What I don't understand about the anti-gay crowd is their ignorance (or indifference) at the fact that homsexuality has been around as long as man has. Have they not read about Ancient Greece? The Roman Empire? And spare me the "it's in the Bible!" rant; so is killing your children if they are disrespectful. Just as they do with the Constitution, conservatives selectively interpret the Bible.
-Yo, Hillary! There's the door, don't let it hit you in the ass on the way out. There's no way to convince me that she wants Obama to win. She's willing to sacrifice the next four years of this country just so she can run again in 2012. No one will be more disappointed with a McCain defeat than she.
-I'm stunned at how the incompetence of others sometimes puts me behind. Grad school, I'm talking to you.
Wrapping it up with a random eleven. The dude I stole this concept from has been on fire lately.
1. "City of Blinding Light"-U2. I'm usually not too fond of "anthem" songs, particularly by groups like U2 who should know better, but I dig this one. And I did before Obama picked this as his campaign song. I would have had a hard time with this being Mitt Romney's though.
2. "My Baby"-The Pretenders. I don't really listen to this song differently since Desmond was born. I've always thought the baby in this song to be a lover instead of a child. Have I mentioned that I do a killer version of "Brass in Pocket"?
3. "Shiny Happy People"-REM. It's amazing how many people think of this song as REM's "Sussudio." I like it, always have. Nephew embarrassment time: he graduated from the University of Illinois-Chicago last Saturday (and already has a job; good for him, I say, through gritted teeth). This song came out in 1991, when he was five. Whenever I played the CD and this came on, he'd come running into the room and dance to it. Unfortunately, I do not have any video of this. But it happened. A lot.
4. "Hard Day's Night"-The Beatles. I'm starting to think I dreamed this because no one seems to know what the heck I am talking about, but I swear when I was a kid that there was a Beatles cartoon show. I don't remember much of it, but I do recall that the opening and closing credits featured the Beatles running away from mobs of screaming girls while this song played. And Ringo was portrayed as a complete dumb-ass. At one point, he gets bonked on the head with an anchor or an anvil, and it doesn't faze him a bit. "You know I work all day" (CLANK!) "to get you money to buy your things."
5. "Spanish Dancer"-Steve Winwood. Winwood was a huge influence on me during my freshman year at Iowa, when Back in the High Life was at the top of the album charts. This song isn't on it, but it is on Chronicles, his greatest hits CD. I lived in a room on the first floor of the dorm, and we had a huge window that faced north. I can remember sitting at my desk at night with no lights on just staring out that window, listening to this song. Those were interesting times.
6. "Amsterdam"-Coldplay. This is a big roadtrip song for me. The first (of many) in the years post-retail was to New England in October 2002 and A Rush of Blood to the Head got some heavy rotation in my car stereo. It also reminds me of John Irving's A Widow for One Year, which I was reading around this time and has a significant portion take place in Amsterdam. Still can't get over what happened to Rooey.
7. "Sky Bird"-Neil Diamond. When I was a kid we had an 8-track player (a concept that seems laughable now, can you imagine people tolerating a song changing tracks in the middle?) and I got hooked on the Jonathan Livingston Seagull release. I'm not familiar with the literary aspect of JLS at all, but I like the music.
8. "Burning Photographs"-Ryan Adams. Ladies and gentlemen, the number one played track on my i-pod. And I couldn't give you the title of another Ryan Adams song to save my life.
9. "All or Nothing at All"-Frank Sinatra. Eh. This is mediocre Frank at best, but I put it on the 'pod because of the organ solo towards the end. If indeed it is an organ. Maybe it's a hurdy gurdy.
10. "Chicago"-Sufjan Stevens. One of the all-time greatest road trip songs ever recorded. I don't even mind that it's in Little Miss Sunshine (though I am bothered at the error that occurs in the movie at that time). I recall driving out of Joshua Tree National Park on a blistering hot August afternoon (number of scorpions seen in the park: 1; number of other people seen in the two hours I spent in the park: 0) and heading east towards Arizona on I-10 when this song came on. Can't help but think of cacti now every time I hear it.
11. "I Grieve"-Peter Gabriel. That this song was released shortly after June 2002 is indeed an eerie coincidence; that its lyrics mirror my thoughts for most of the rest of that year is a measure of influence, I'm sure, but whenever I hear it every inch of my skin stands up.
Getting ready to hit "save." This had better not disappear.
UPDATE: Yippee
13 May 2008
AOL, you suck!
Yes, you do, my inadequate blog provider. I just spent more than an hour crafting my thoughts about something rather important to me only to see it disappear under the banner of "Sorry, AOL journals is unavailable" when I hit the "save" key. Interesting that when it comes back to the entry screen, nothing remains except the title.
Blogger is looking more and more desirable with each passing day, you miserable technical succubus.
Blogger is looking more and more desirable with each passing day, you miserable technical succubus.
21 April 2008
The way things are
The boy is four months old today. I continue to be amazed at how the time seems to be going by slowly. It seems like Desmond has been around for a lot longer than 120 days or so.
Things are different since the three month mark, as Mommy has gone back to work, meaning that it is Daddy and Des during the day. Don't know how long this will be, since I am graduating soon (thesis has been delivered, waiting to have it approved). I know it's tough for Kristen to be away during the day, but she does get time with him before she leaves and he is thrilled to see her when she comes home in the late afternoon.
So far, so good. He's an amazingly easy baby to care for. When he fusses it is easy to tell why-he has distinctive cries for "I'm hungry", "How about a new diaper", and "If I don't sleep NOW the whole neighborhood is gonna hear about it." The weather has finally started to warm up so we've been taking walks, and he seems fascinated by his surroundings.
It has taken me a little while to understand that if babies get up early, so does the person taking care of them. I haven't gotten up consistently by seven in a long, long time and for the first few weeks I was not adjusting the time where I normally went to bed, which meant I got about five hours of sleep each night. I was a zombie by the end of the second week. My son has got me doing the impossible: going to bed before midnight.
Desmond loves music and the Beatles are his favorite so far. If I play "Norwegian Wood," "Hey Jude," or "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" he kicks until the song is done. This can be quite uncomfortable if he happens to be sitting on my lamp at the time. I love that he loves music. Now if he would only start reading...
I am forcing the Cubs on him. Well, not really. I've dressed him in a few team onesies and took some pictures but that has been it. He tends to sleep a lot when the games are on. So far the Cubs are doing very well. Maybe he's all they needed. Maybe I'm setting him up for a lifetime of baseball angst. We'll know as the summer progresses.
Tomorrow is our third (!) wedding anniversary. I was thinking about the days around our wedding a lot last week because the Pope was in the US, and he was elected just before the wedding. When it comes to being married time has flown. I can't believe it's been three years (and five years since we met) already. It's hard to measure the difference in our lives now that we are three instead of two, mostly because it is hard to remember what life was like before Des came along.
This is such a sunny entry, yes? What's happening to me? Am I mellowing in my fifth decade?
Nah, not really. I'm just not writing about politics.
06 April 2008
Dammit
I somehow just lost my entire entry that I've been working on this morning, and I am using Firefox. I thought this wasn't supposed to happen in that browser.
To sum up:
1. We survived the first week of my playing Mr. Mom
2. My son gets up way too early
3. (Sound of him filling his diaper in the midst of me writing this)
4. I hate Oprah.
5. The infamous "pregnant man" is not a man, people. "He" is a biological woman who wants to live as a man, yet "he" kept his baby parts. Please stop acting like this is an actual man who somehow got pregnant.
6. I'm all for "him" having this kid. God knows it's the best thing anyone can ever do with their lives.
7. I hope James Dobson et al is choking on his Wheaties in apoplexy over this. Morons.
7. I really, really hate Oprah.
To sum up:
1. We survived the first week of my playing Mr. Mom
2. My son gets up way too early
3. (Sound of him filling his diaper in the midst of me writing this)
4. I hate Oprah.
5. The infamous "pregnant man" is not a man, people. "He" is a biological woman who wants to live as a man, yet "he" kept his baby parts. Please stop acting like this is an actual man who somehow got pregnant.
6. I'm all for "him" having this kid. God knows it's the best thing anyone can ever do with their lives.
7. I hope James Dobson et al is choking on his Wheaties in apoplexy over this. Morons.
7. I really, really hate Oprah.
28 March 2008
A three hour tour? A THREE HOUR TOUR?
Quiz for you: which candidate for president said this concerning Reverend Jeremiah Wright?
"I can only say that I am sure, knowing Senator Obama, that he does not share the extreme views that were expressed that I saw on television."
It was John McCain. Imagine that, if you can. Obama is his likely challenger in November, and while the rest of the GOP is foaming at the mouth over the smear potential of the Wright sermon videos, McCain pretty much has declared that it should not be an issue. Do you think the rest of the Republicans will mirror McCain's opinion? I sort of doubt it.
Here's another question: which candidate has said nothing about this except for "He would not be my pastor."
That would be Hillary Clintion of course, who believes that "as far as she knows" Barabk Obama is not a Muslim. Maybe HRC has been so quiet about the Wright issue because she's talking to James Frey about how to elaborate real-life experiences. I wonder if Frey has ever been to a war zone?
I voted for Obama in the primary and will in November if he is the nominee. I will not vote for Clinton under any circumstances. Ugh. I can't believe I am saying this publicly-if Hillary Clinton somehow weasels her way into the nomination, I am voting for John McCain. That will be the first time in my life that I have voted for a Republican presidential candidate.
Why? Well, why not? I've mentioned how disappointed I have been in the Clintons lately, but after this Bosnia thing I am actually scared of her being in control of anything. I don't believe that Clinton thinks she lied about her visit to Bosnia. I think she actually believes what she said to be the truth. I also believe that she has a strong sense of entitlement, that she thinks that she deserves the presidency.
I know it takes a lot of ego to even consider running for president, but Hillary Clinton is a meglomaniac. She is delusional. There is no way she is fit to be president. Jeez, what would I do if Guiliani or Romney were the GOP candidate? I'd have to go into exile for the next year.
Be fully prepared for the onslaught once the race is set, for there is no doubt that there will be ads all over the place telling us that Obama is an anti-american muslim dog killer. Amazing that a guy like that wants to be president. His plan to kill us all must be devious.
I ranted about the GOP running on BOO! in 2004-"vote for us, or the terrorists will kill you." They will run on BOO! again in 2008, but in terms of "Vote for us, or the big bad black men will get you." By the time the conventions are over, that is the only way that the GOP will be able to win, especially in the deep south.
And that is what this whole thing about Jeremiah Wright is about. It's fear. Fear of losing control. Fear that the establishment will be "replaced" by something else. And it's completely ridiculous. Not to mention incredibly racist.
Here's a politically and racially motivated-free random 11:
1. "When I Want You"-Del Amitri. These boys just fell off the planet in the mid-90s didn't they? Their Waking Hours CD gets more play on my stereo than 95% of everything else I own. You sent greetings from Liverpool, and I took the next train. Liverpool? Who named that city and why?
2. "Driver 8"-REM. I see they have a new album coming out soon. I can't think of anything interesting to say about this song, so I'll mention that I've been watching Natural Born Killers for the last hour or so, and that I've never seen it. Bizarre. I have no idea what Oliver Stone wants this film to be, but I'm guessing he wanted it to be a three hour acid trip.
3. "Wine Safari"-Rolfe Kent. Rolfe? Isn't he the dog that plays the piano on The Muppet Show? This is from the Sideways soundtrack. I sort of which I had been watching this movie for the last hour instead. This movie made me a Paul Giamatti fan (though it is not his best work-see American Splendor if you haven't already). I haven't seen any of the John Adams mini-series on HBO yet. Kind of having a hard time picturing Giamatti as Adams.
4. "The Painted Desert"-10000 Maniacs. This is almost two different songs now, since I have been to the Painted Desert recently (that's relative-the song came out in 1988, I was there in 2006). It really is amazing how the color of the desert changes depending on the time if day. The landscape in late afternoon, when the slowly falling sun makes most of the desert a bright red, is best. Still doesn't make me want to camp in it like the people in the song though.
5. "Miss Halfway"-Anya Marina. I heard this song performed life on NPR's "Whatta Ya Know?" but have since been told that it was popular on an episode of "Grey's Anatomy." I feel stained by the association.
6. "Slit Skirts"-Pete Townshend. He is incredibly underrated as a songwriter and solo performer. His White City is my favorite album of all time. Hard to believe I used to listen to this song on vinyl way back as a high school freshman, when the line "I was just 34 years old and I was still wandering in a haze" made him seem like such an old man. Hmm, I might have been wandering in a haze at 34 myself.
7. "Ticket to Ride"-The Beatles. Just added a bunch of Beatles tunes to the 'pod. I'm reading the biography of them that came out in 2005 (I think) which is so long and detailed but fascinating, and has me on a kick with their music recently. Looking at their songs and albums, it amazes me that they were only around for eight years. I found out last Sunday that my son (who has passed the three month mark) is a fan of the boys from Liverpool (Liverpool. Liverpool?), as a medley of their work soothed him down from a rough patch and even put him to sleep with a smile on his face. My favorite Beatles song? Think I have to go with "Hey Jude."
8. "Fortune Teller"-Robert Plant and Allison Krause. If their Raising Sand album does not win a billion Grammys next year, there should be an investigation. And this is one of the only so-so tracks on the CD.
9. "Minutes to Memories"-John Mellancamp. Still ain't too happy with him for selling out to Chevy after he ranted for years about people who did, but can't bring myself to jettison his stuff from my catalog. This song makes me think of Champaign, Illinois.
10. "Dry Country"-The B52s. I was a senior in college when this came out, and I remember a friend of mine had one of those fake flowers that moved to rhythm, and this song made it move like no other. Maybe I have been watching this movie too long. At least now I know why Tom Sizemore turned out the way he did.
11. "Even Better than the Real Thing"-U2. Almost had a full one without U2. Take me higher. So is this movie a commentary on the media? I'm starting to think it is. Why is Robert Downey's character Australian? Is he a symbolic Rupert Murdoch? Did Tommy Lee Jones come straight from his "Batman Returns" scenes to the set of this movie? He looks exactly the same. Nice 'stache. Hey that's Robert Jordan at the end! He's a news dude from Chicago. Why is he on there? Did he get paid? OK, it's definitely a media thing. I get that now. I'm guessing Stone absolutely loved how this flick gets the conservatives into a froth.
"I can only say that I am sure, knowing Senator Obama, that he does not share the extreme views that were expressed that I saw on television."
It was John McCain. Imagine that, if you can. Obama is his likely challenger in November, and while the rest of the GOP is foaming at the mouth over the smear potential of the Wright sermon videos, McCain pretty much has declared that it should not be an issue. Do you think the rest of the Republicans will mirror McCain's opinion? I sort of doubt it.
Here's another question: which candidate has said nothing about this except for "He would not be my pastor."
That would be Hillary Clintion of course, who believes that "as far as she knows" Barabk Obama is not a Muslim. Maybe HRC has been so quiet about the Wright issue because she's talking to James Frey about how to elaborate real-life experiences. I wonder if Frey has ever been to a war zone?
I voted for Obama in the primary and will in November if he is the nominee. I will not vote for Clinton under any circumstances. Ugh. I can't believe I am saying this publicly-if Hillary Clinton somehow weasels her way into the nomination, I am voting for John McCain. That will be the first time in my life that I have voted for a Republican presidential candidate.
Why? Well, why not? I've mentioned how disappointed I have been in the Clintons lately, but after this Bosnia thing I am actually scared of her being in control of anything. I don't believe that Clinton thinks she lied about her visit to Bosnia. I think she actually believes what she said to be the truth. I also believe that she has a strong sense of entitlement, that she thinks that she deserves the presidency.
I know it takes a lot of ego to even consider running for president, but Hillary Clinton is a meglomaniac. She is delusional. There is no way she is fit to be president. Jeez, what would I do if Guiliani or Romney were the GOP candidate? I'd have to go into exile for the next year.
Be fully prepared for the onslaught once the race is set, for there is no doubt that there will be ads all over the place telling us that Obama is an anti-american muslim dog killer. Amazing that a guy like that wants to be president. His plan to kill us all must be devious.
I ranted about the GOP running on BOO! in 2004-"vote for us, or the terrorists will kill you." They will run on BOO! again in 2008, but in terms of "Vote for us, or the big bad black men will get you." By the time the conventions are over, that is the only way that the GOP will be able to win, especially in the deep south.
And that is what this whole thing about Jeremiah Wright is about. It's fear. Fear of losing control. Fear that the establishment will be "replaced" by something else. And it's completely ridiculous. Not to mention incredibly racist.
Here's a politically and racially motivated-free random 11:
1. "When I Want You"-Del Amitri. These boys just fell off the planet in the mid-90s didn't they? Their Waking Hours CD gets more play on my stereo than 95% of everything else I own. You sent greetings from Liverpool, and I took the next train. Liverpool? Who named that city and why?
2. "Driver 8"-REM. I see they have a new album coming out soon. I can't think of anything interesting to say about this song, so I'll mention that I've been watching Natural Born Killers for the last hour or so, and that I've never seen it. Bizarre. I have no idea what Oliver Stone wants this film to be, but I'm guessing he wanted it to be a three hour acid trip.
3. "Wine Safari"-Rolfe Kent. Rolfe? Isn't he the dog that plays the piano on The Muppet Show? This is from the Sideways soundtrack. I sort of which I had been watching this movie for the last hour instead. This movie made me a Paul Giamatti fan (though it is not his best work-see American Splendor if you haven't already). I haven't seen any of the John Adams mini-series on HBO yet. Kind of having a hard time picturing Giamatti as Adams.
4. "The Painted Desert"-10000 Maniacs. This is almost two different songs now, since I have been to the Painted Desert recently (that's relative-the song came out in 1988, I was there in 2006). It really is amazing how the color of the desert changes depending on the time if day. The landscape in late afternoon, when the slowly falling sun makes most of the desert a bright red, is best. Still doesn't make me want to camp in it like the people in the song though.
5. "Miss Halfway"-Anya Marina. I heard this song performed life on NPR's "Whatta Ya Know?" but have since been told that it was popular on an episode of "Grey's Anatomy." I feel stained by the association.
6. "Slit Skirts"-Pete Townshend. He is incredibly underrated as a songwriter and solo performer. His White City is my favorite album of all time. Hard to believe I used to listen to this song on vinyl way back as a high school freshman, when the line "I was just 34 years old and I was still wandering in a haze" made him seem like such an old man. Hmm, I might have been wandering in a haze at 34 myself.
7. "Ticket to Ride"-The Beatles. Just added a bunch of Beatles tunes to the 'pod. I'm reading the biography of them that came out in 2005 (I think) which is so long and detailed but fascinating, and has me on a kick with their music recently. Looking at their songs and albums, it amazes me that they were only around for eight years. I found out last Sunday that my son (who has passed the three month mark) is a fan of the boys from Liverpool (Liverpool. Liverpool?), as a medley of their work soothed him down from a rough patch and even put him to sleep with a smile on his face. My favorite Beatles song? Think I have to go with "Hey Jude."
8. "Fortune Teller"-Robert Plant and Allison Krause. If their Raising Sand album does not win a billion Grammys next year, there should be an investigation. And this is one of the only so-so tracks on the CD.
9. "Minutes to Memories"-John Mellancamp. Still ain't too happy with him for selling out to Chevy after he ranted for years about people who did, but can't bring myself to jettison his stuff from my catalog. This song makes me think of Champaign, Illinois.
10. "Dry Country"-The B52s. I was a senior in college when this came out, and I remember a friend of mine had one of those fake flowers that moved to rhythm, and this song made it move like no other. Maybe I have been watching this movie too long. At least now I know why Tom Sizemore turned out the way he did.
11. "Even Better than the Real Thing"-U2. Almost had a full one without U2. Take me higher. So is this movie a commentary on the media? I'm starting to think it is. Why is Robert Downey's character Australian? Is he a symbolic Rupert Murdoch? Did Tommy Lee Jones come straight from his "Batman Returns" scenes to the set of this movie? He looks exactly the same. Nice 'stache. Hey that's Robert Jordan at the end! He's a news dude from Chicago. Why is he on there? Did he get paid? OK, it's definitely a media thing. I get that now. I'm guessing Stone absolutely loved how this flick gets the conservatives into a froth.
16 March 2008
Stuck in March with the February blues, again.
This is the March of my discontent. My somewhat-reliable case of the February blues (which I thought I managed to avoid this year) decided to show up a month late this year. I've always had this problem; for as long as I can remember by the time mid-February comes I am crawling out of my skin for the season to change. Just when I think I can't take it anymore, it disappears.
So I know that sometime soon, hopefully within the next week or so, this feeling of mental paralysis will go away and we will all get along with the year. Thank God for my wife and son; I'd be feeling about a billion times worse if they weren't here. Desmond will be three months next Friday. He was baptized last Sunday and wore the same outfit that I did when I was christened a-way back in 1967. Kristen has been documenting a lot of his life on a separate blog so that our out-of-town family can see what he is up to (I don't want to link it here, but if anybody would like to check it out, leave me a comment and I will e-mail it to you). It's good to be able to click on a link and see multiple pictures of my son; it's a guaranteed mood booster.
So I get bothered by things much more easily during times like these. My thesis is driving me nuts. No, I'm driving myself nuts about it. I am so close to finishing and that seems to make it that much harder to complete. I write for a bit, I get stuck on trying to express something (it is so much easier to write in my head) and then the frustration distracts me to the point that I walk away for a bit. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I also want Hillary Clinton to go away. I'm stifling myself here, because I could easily go on and on and on about how I am completely repulsed by her. It's not gender-related; I'm sick of Bill Clinton too (and anyone who knew me in the 90s would be stunned by that admission). They will say anything to get elected (Her answer on 60 Minutes about whether Obama is a Muslim: "He's not, as far as I know." As far as you know?). They are living in a dream world-has there ever been a second-place candidate who talked openly about how the person who is currently bashing their political brains in would make a great VP running mate? But what bothers me most about them is their outrage over the Michigan and Florida primaries not counting. Everyone involved in the campaign agreed that these states would not seat their delegates, because they broke party rules. Clinton was quoted long ago as saying that she agreed that this was fair. Well, she won both primaries and now THE DELEGATES MUST COUNT, DAMMIT!
OK, enough. They are making me ill, and I am sick of the politics of entitlement. I never thought I would say this, but here goes: go away, Mr. and Mrs. Clinton. Far, far away.
Usually crabbiness means a need for a random eleven: Apple, take me away...
1. "All the Way to Reno"-REM. Another by-product of the late-winter blahs is an intense desire to road trip. All this song makes me think about right now is Vegas. I'd love to be there next week for the first four days of the NCAA basketball tournament. I've driven through Reno but that's it. I have no idea what this song means, and the fact that Michael Stipe sings "You know who you are" 100 times doesn't help decipher it.
2. "Slow Turning"-John Hiatt. One of the greatest driving songs of all time. Quite possibly has the greatest lyric in all of mankind: "And I'm yellin' at the kids in the back 'cuz they're banging like Charlie Watts." It has a banjo. Life is short and here's the damn thing about it: you're gonna die, gonna die for sure.
3. "Shiver"-Coldplay. Two questions about this: why isn't this considered one of the best rock songs of the last twenty-five years? The guitars alone clinch it. And what happened to Coldplay? A band that is capable of something like this should be exiled for ever recording a song like "Fix You." I discovered this song in the summer/fall of 2003, after moving out of my house into an apartment (something I vowed never to do when I started paying a mortgage) and having just met the woman who I would marry. It was a different, different time. I was road-tripping a lot then too. In fact, I was listening to this song in central New York when i got pulled over by a state trooper for going 85 on the Interstate, and if he had come upon me about ten seconds sooner, I would have been going 105. Just decided to open it up and see how fast I could go. Timing saved me about $250 there, I think.
4. "January Rain"-David Gray. This is an instrumental from the movie Serendipity, which was one of the dumbest movies I have ever seen. If I recall correctly, this movie has one of most ridiculous scenarios that an audience has ever been asked to believe: John Cusack is in New York at his bachelor party (he's getting married the next morning) but he's pining for a girl he met earlier who is in California blah blah blah so he and Jeremy Piven get on a flight that leaves NY at 11 PM, fly to LA, and are able to rent a car, somehow find where this girl lives and get back to the airport in time to catch a flight back to NY that gets him there in more than enough time for his noon wedding. OK. I know there's a three hour time difference but there's no way that flight out lands before 1 AM Pacific time. You rent a car at LAX, you look up and find your way to a house somewhere in the metropolitan area, you get back to the airport. It has to be at least 3 if not 4AM, which means that it is 6 or 7 in New York. You're going to get on a plane then, land at LaGuardia and have time to get dressed for a noon wedding? Right. Of course, had the movie been any good, I probably would have bought this scenario. Alas, it sucked, and shall henceforth be referred to as Serenstupidity. Thank you. And I don't really blame you if you stopped reading this particular entry a long, long time ago. I'm really not worth much as a writer when I am crabby.
5. "Revolution Earth"-B52s. One of those songs that I heard during a time when I wondered if I would ever get married. Ah, mid-20s angst. Have you ever wanted to take out your brain and use a brillo pad to erase certain memories? Yeah, me too.
6. "Ring of Fire."-Johnny Cash. Not much to say about the brilliance of this. Did I really once watch an episode of "ER" where Carrie woke up to a version of this song being sung by Grace Jones?
7. "39"-Queen. Hoo boy. Did not need to hear this song in this mood. This song completely reminds me of my father, who hated just about everything I listened to when I was a kid, but absolutely loved this song. He used to walk into my room every once in a while and say "Put '39 on" and then he would sit and listen to it without saying a word, and then say "thanks" when it was over, as he walked out of the room. I've played this song for Desmond a few times.
8. "So Cruel"-U2. Have to have the mandatory U2 song.
9. "In Bloom"-Nirvana. At least it wasn't "Lithium." There was something disturbing about seeing my nephew rock out to this song when he was fourteen. He's turned 22 since I last posted here. He was a great kid, and now he's a great adult.
10. "Screw"-The Cure. Ah. mid-1980s angst! Anything by The Cure reminds me of road-tripping to Champaign to visit friends who were going to school there while I was home looking for brillo pads. I think I went there seventeen times in what would have been my freshmen year. I used to have major regret at how I screwed up my opportunity to go to school there, but I have long since graduated from the everything-happens-for-a-reason school. This will either make you laugh or reinforce the fact that I am an idiot: the first time I went to U of I to visit with friends, I was in a dorm room with about ten other people. There was a courtyard and when I looked past that into the window of a room across it, I clearly saw a poster on the wall. It was Albert Einstein, but this was only pointed out to me after I remarked several times that I thought it was strange that a college student would have a poster of Larry Tate (for those of you under 40, he was Darren's boss on "Bewitched") on his wall. Yes, I had been drinking, but surely someone else could have made this mistake, yes? By the way, if you are feeling blue, don't read the accompanying bio for David White (the actor who was Larry Tate) after that picture; it's incredibly depressing. The dude had a tough personal life.
11. "Tusk"-Fleetwood Mac. The only highlight of this song comes at the 2:26 mark, when for some reason Mick Fleetwood (It has to be him, but I don't really know) bellows in the background "Real Savage Like!" in his best Tim Gunn voice.
So I know that sometime soon, hopefully within the next week or so, this feeling of mental paralysis will go away and we will all get along with the year. Thank God for my wife and son; I'd be feeling about a billion times worse if they weren't here. Desmond will be three months next Friday. He was baptized last Sunday and wore the same outfit that I did when I was christened a-way back in 1967. Kristen has been documenting a lot of his life on a separate blog so that our out-of-town family can see what he is up to (I don't want to link it here, but if anybody would like to check it out, leave me a comment and I will e-mail it to you). It's good to be able to click on a link and see multiple pictures of my son; it's a guaranteed mood booster.
So I get bothered by things much more easily during times like these. My thesis is driving me nuts. No, I'm driving myself nuts about it. I am so close to finishing and that seems to make it that much harder to complete. I write for a bit, I get stuck on trying to express something (it is so much easier to write in my head) and then the frustration distracts me to the point that I walk away for a bit. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I also want Hillary Clinton to go away. I'm stifling myself here, because I could easily go on and on and on about how I am completely repulsed by her. It's not gender-related; I'm sick of Bill Clinton too (and anyone who knew me in the 90s would be stunned by that admission). They will say anything to get elected (Her answer on 60 Minutes about whether Obama is a Muslim: "He's not, as far as I know." As far as you know?). They are living in a dream world-has there ever been a second-place candidate who talked openly about how the person who is currently bashing their political brains in would make a great VP running mate? But what bothers me most about them is their outrage over the Michigan and Florida primaries not counting. Everyone involved in the campaign agreed that these states would not seat their delegates, because they broke party rules. Clinton was quoted long ago as saying that she agreed that this was fair. Well, she won both primaries and now THE DELEGATES MUST COUNT, DAMMIT!
OK, enough. They are making me ill, and I am sick of the politics of entitlement. I never thought I would say this, but here goes: go away, Mr. and Mrs. Clinton. Far, far away.
Usually crabbiness means a need for a random eleven: Apple, take me away...
1. "All the Way to Reno"-REM. Another by-product of the late-winter blahs is an intense desire to road trip. All this song makes me think about right now is Vegas. I'd love to be there next week for the first four days of the NCAA basketball tournament. I've driven through Reno but that's it. I have no idea what this song means, and the fact that Michael Stipe sings "You know who you are" 100 times doesn't help decipher it.
2. "Slow Turning"-John Hiatt. One of the greatest driving songs of all time. Quite possibly has the greatest lyric in all of mankind: "And I'm yellin' at the kids in the back 'cuz they're banging like Charlie Watts." It has a banjo. Life is short and here's the damn thing about it: you're gonna die, gonna die for sure.
3. "Shiver"-Coldplay. Two questions about this: why isn't this considered one of the best rock songs of the last twenty-five years? The guitars alone clinch it. And what happened to Coldplay? A band that is capable of something like this should be exiled for ever recording a song like "Fix You." I discovered this song in the summer/fall of 2003, after moving out of my house into an apartment (something I vowed never to do when I started paying a mortgage) and having just met the woman who I would marry. It was a different, different time. I was road-tripping a lot then too. In fact, I was listening to this song in central New York when i got pulled over by a state trooper for going 85 on the Interstate, and if he had come upon me about ten seconds sooner, I would have been going 105. Just decided to open it up and see how fast I could go. Timing saved me about $250 there, I think.
4. "January Rain"-David Gray. This is an instrumental from the movie Serendipity, which was one of the dumbest movies I have ever seen. If I recall correctly, this movie has one of most ridiculous scenarios that an audience has ever been asked to believe: John Cusack is in New York at his bachelor party (he's getting married the next morning) but he's pining for a girl he met earlier who is in California blah blah blah so he and Jeremy Piven get on a flight that leaves NY at 11 PM, fly to LA, and are able to rent a car, somehow find where this girl lives and get back to the airport in time to catch a flight back to NY that gets him there in more than enough time for his noon wedding. OK. I know there's a three hour time difference but there's no way that flight out lands before 1 AM Pacific time. You rent a car at LAX, you look up and find your way to a house somewhere in the metropolitan area, you get back to the airport. It has to be at least 3 if not 4AM, which means that it is 6 or 7 in New York. You're going to get on a plane then, land at LaGuardia and have time to get dressed for a noon wedding? Right. Of course, had the movie been any good, I probably would have bought this scenario. Alas, it sucked, and shall henceforth be referred to as Serenstupidity. Thank you. And I don't really blame you if you stopped reading this particular entry a long, long time ago. I'm really not worth much as a writer when I am crabby.
5. "Revolution Earth"-B52s. One of those songs that I heard during a time when I wondered if I would ever get married. Ah, mid-20s angst. Have you ever wanted to take out your brain and use a brillo pad to erase certain memories? Yeah, me too.
6. "Ring of Fire."-Johnny Cash. Not much to say about the brilliance of this. Did I really once watch an episode of "ER" where Carrie woke up to a version of this song being sung by Grace Jones?
7. "39"-Queen. Hoo boy. Did not need to hear this song in this mood. This song completely reminds me of my father, who hated just about everything I listened to when I was a kid, but absolutely loved this song. He used to walk into my room every once in a while and say "Put '39 on" and then he would sit and listen to it without saying a word, and then say "thanks" when it was over, as he walked out of the room. I've played this song for Desmond a few times.
8. "So Cruel"-U2. Have to have the mandatory U2 song.
9. "In Bloom"-Nirvana. At least it wasn't "Lithium." There was something disturbing about seeing my nephew rock out to this song when he was fourteen. He's turned 22 since I last posted here. He was a great kid, and now he's a great adult.
10. "Screw"-The Cure. Ah. mid-1980s angst! Anything by The Cure reminds me of road-tripping to Champaign to visit friends who were going to school there while I was home looking for brillo pads. I think I went there seventeen times in what would have been my freshmen year. I used to have major regret at how I screwed up my opportunity to go to school there, but I have long since graduated from the everything-happens-for-a-reason school. This will either make you laugh or reinforce the fact that I am an idiot: the first time I went to U of I to visit with friends, I was in a dorm room with about ten other people. There was a courtyard and when I looked past that into the window of a room across it, I clearly saw a poster on the wall. It was Albert Einstein, but this was only pointed out to me after I remarked several times that I thought it was strange that a college student would have a poster of Larry Tate (for those of you under 40, he was Darren's boss on "Bewitched") on his wall. Yes, I had been drinking, but surely someone else could have made this mistake, yes? By the way, if you are feeling blue, don't read the accompanying bio for David White (the actor who was Larry Tate) after that picture; it's incredibly depressing. The dude had a tough personal life.
11. "Tusk"-Fleetwood Mac. The only highlight of this song comes at the 2:26 mark, when for some reason Mick Fleetwood (It has to be him, but I don't really know) bellows in the background "Real Savage Like!" in his best Tim Gunn voice.
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