28 February 2007

I'm getting old

When I was a kid and I thought about the future, I never looked past the year 2000. It always seemed so far away. Until I was 18 (1985), I always thought of myself as an adult perpetually stuck at the age of 33.

In February of 1986 I became an uncle when my nephew was born on the 28th (I think you may see where this is going now-blatant hint) and my life has never been the same. I used to think of him as I did of me, incapable of getting past a certain age. I could never see him past the age of five because he was so much fun to be around when he was a toddler. But, obviously, he did pass being five. And then ten. And then thirteen, sixteen, eighteen-all certain milestone ages.

When 2000 came and went, I readjusted my thinking about the future, since I had made it to 33 and kind of felt like I wanted to keep going. Both of my parents were 33 when I was born. It seemed like a plateau age.

Then my father died a year or so later and that line of thinking changed too. I started thinking about life not in terms of age, of years past, but of years to come, years left. And it occurred to me that when my nephew reached twenty-one, I'd be pushing forty.

My nephew turns 21 today. I will be forty in May. I don't feel like I am about to be forty. I feel like I am barely past 21 myself. And obviously, I don't see my nephew as 21.

Ah but he is. He's taller than me. He could probably ball me up and stuff me into an empty soup can (though he will never be my equal mentally-BWA HA HA HA!). I look at him and he's no longer a kid. He hasn't been for a long time now.

But he's one of the reasons why I feel nowhere close to forty.

I had no idea what being an uncle was going to be like. I had plenty of them when I was young but they were all so much older than me and I always thought of them as authority figures. I didn't want to be a nineteen year old authority figure, so I wasn't. I don't think I ever have been. I have three nieces and two other nephews now and I don't think of myself as authority figures to them either. They are all wonderful to be around, one after the other, the last three within ten months.

Being around my nephew so much from the first day of his life introduced me to a lot of things-how to care for infants, babies, toddlers, small children, etc.-things I had never thought of before. I'd like to take some of the credit for the way he has turned out. He's thoughtful, generous, even-keeledand hasn't caused an ounce of trouble ever, but those are all things he learned from his parents and his grandparents.

I'll take credit for his sense of humor. He is almost as funny as I am.

There is an episode of M*A*S*H where Radar is in trouble because someone has stolen a gun belonging to a colonel recuperating at the 4077th. Hawkeye and BJ know Frank Burns has the gun. When they confront him about it, Frank denies it. Hawkeye explains to Frank that if the gun isn't returned, Radar could be sent to the brig.

Hawkeye then says to Frank: "I'm very fond of Radar. He's both the son and pet that I've never had."

I would say the same thing about my nephew. I may have three cats now, but I'm still waiting for a son. Or a daughter. And when he/she comes, I will be ready because of my memories of being around my nephew when he was young.

And if I am lucky, he/she will turn out as well as he has.

So happy 21st birthday nephew. You were an outstanding child who became an outstanding young man and you are now an outstanding adult. You have no idea how much you have affected my life and the lives of everyone around you. 

You've been very lucky, and I think you know that. We've been lucky too, and I hope you know that.

(PS-remember that I wrote this when I am 85 and need a place to live)

25 February 2007

Where I "Babel" about a certain forthcoming injustice

'Twas a time not so long ago that I would have seen almost all of the movies and performances up for Academy Awards. Not anymore. I made a mental list in early January of what I still need to see, and feel fortunate if I get one out of the way.

I did so yesterday. More on that in a moment.

I've never remembered a year that seems more predictable than this one. All four of the acting awards have been supposedly locked up since the day the nominations were announced. Same with director. Snore. Where's the motivation to watch?

I can't predict, but I can analyze:

Best picture: I have not seen Babel, The Departed, The Queen and Letters From Iwo Jima (though I did sit in a theater next to one where that was playing yesterday, and man is that film loud). I have seen Little Miss Sunshine, which I liked but hardly find worthy as a best picture nominee, much less winner. If that film deserves any award, it's one for making me cringe for the last fifteen minutes more than any movie ever. Best part of that movie was seeing it on DVD a few weeks ago with some people who had never seen it before and watching their reaction towards the end. They say this race is wide open but I am going to say The Departed wins, mostly because of Martin Scorsese but also because Babel is too much like Crash (last year's winner, one of the worst best picture choices ever). If there is an "upset" it will be Little Miss Sunshine, and the Academy will have blown it two years in a row.

Best Director: I haven't seen the aforementioned four films above along with United 93, so I can't make an objective pick, but if they don't give it to Martin Scorsese, they might as well take him out back and shoot him. If he doesn't win the academy is just being cruel. Put the guy out of his misery one way or another.

Supporting Actress: I have only seen Little Miss Sunshine herself, Abigail Breslin, who has no chance of winning, nor do the two women from Babel or Cate Blanchett (nope, didn't see Notes on a Scandal either). I haven't seen Dreamgirls, have no desire to, and I have no real opinion on Jennifer Hudson. She will win though.

Supporting Actor: Eddie Murphy is the big favorite here, but he should be disqualified on general principle for Norbit. Having only seen Alan Arkin (who was great and would be a deserved winner) I can only say that anyone I know who saw Little Children was blown away by Jackie Earle Haley. Mark Wahlberg will win an Oscar someday, and Djimon Honsou has had a role I didn't care for. This is probably the strongest category.

Actress: Saw none of these films. Penelope Cruz will win someday; Meryl Streep collects nominations like I do Cubs ticket stubs; Judi Dench could recite Dr. Seuss and get a nomination; I have a feeling Kate Winslet's performance is the best of the bunch, but Hello, Loyal Subjects, Helen Mirren wins for playing Lizzie II, something I have a problem with, which I will explain in my reasoning for next:

Actor: The sole reason I am writing this whole thing. First, haven't seen Blood Diamond (sorry Leo-ps you should have won for Gilbert Grape) or The Pursuit of Happiness (Will Smith). Nor have I seen The Last King of Scotland (Forest Whitaker). I have seen Half Nelson and Ryan Gosling was great, second best performance I saw.

But this is all about Peter O'Toole. I am incredibly biased here; the man is the greatest actor who has ever lived and I can't believe he has never won. If I wanted to depress myself I would go back and see who he lost to the previous seven times he's been nominated. Ugh. The first ever date I went on was to go see My Favorite Year (let me tell ya, the movie was miles better than the date). And spare me the fact that he was given an honorary award a few years ago. The man has won as many acting Oscars as I have.

I went to see Venus yesterday, sitting by myself in a semi-crowded movie theater. Best performance by an actor I have ever seen. Bias aside, I swear that is was. Amazing. The movie isn't for everyone as it has a certain ick-factor of a seventy-five year old man thinking he can seduce a twenty year old woman, but even when he is about to say something that he shouldn't, he does it better than no one else. I think he deserves to win for a scene where he doesn't even say a word: the woman suggests they meet at a London pier the next day at noon. He is seen getting dressed, walking to the pier, and then remaining there all day because she never shows up. He goes from leaning against an iron fence to pacing to finally sitting wearily down on a bench as the camera quickly advances from noon to dusk. His mannerisms, the looks on his face-perfect. Simply an amazing performance throughout. I can't wait until the movie comes out for sale (and I am not a big fan of buying movies).

I can't possibly describe his performance enough. It has to be seen to be appreciated.

Forest Whitaker is going to win for his impression of Idi Amin in Last King of Scotland. He is a great actor as well; his work on the last season of "The Shield" was brilliant. I am sure that he is great in this movie as well.

But it's an imitation. He is playing someone who he had the chance to study. Same with Helen Mirren. If they weren't good at portraying these real-life characters, they wouldn't have been in the film. Same with Jamie Foxx a few years back. I'm not saying that these aren't worthy performances, but I think it is harder to create a character that is fictional. Besides, Peter O'Toole is 74 and ain't going to be around forever. It will be a shame if he shuffles off to eternity without winning. Remember Henry Fonda? He was not the best actor out there when he won for On Golden Pond, but he was in his 70s and ailing.

I was going to try to see The Last King of Scotland today, but decided that I'd rather see it after the academy breaks my heart and snubs Peter O'Toole again.

I sure hope I am wrong.

24 February 2007

Roma, checking in

I was so affected by that episode of "Touched By an Angel" (with a completely Emmy-overlooked performance by Harry Hamlin, if I dare say so) that I've spent the last two weeks trying to figure out a way to affix a soft orange glow behind me and get Della Reese to roadtrip with me.

Excuse making is fun.

School has been kicking my behind. I've been doing so much writing lately that the last thing I feel like doing is venturing over here and doing more of it, yet every day for the last fourteen I have at some point said to myself that I am not doing this enough.

So what else? Last year was the first time since 1984 that I never set foot in Wrigley Field. I had my reasons and I am glad I stuck to my guns, but I'm going to go back at least four times this year. Bought the tickets today. I can't believe baseball season starts in a little more than a month. There's nothing like the feeling on Opening Day of knowing that for the next six months there will be baseball almost everyday.

As you can tell, I am being sucked back in. Did I mention that new Cubs manager Lou Piniella and new offensive threat (like he eschews deodorant or something) Alfonso Soriano were on the cover of Sports Illustrated this week? Ugh. Thanks for that one, guys.

This just in: Lou Piniella has been eaten by a snake, and Alfonso Soriano has lost his right arm in a freak croquette accident.

I am blatantly stealing this next portion from here. I went to college in Iowa City. He lives in Iowa City. He won't mind-we're soul Iowans. It's Friday. Write about the first eleven songs that pop up on the trusty i-pod.

(I've gotten so much writing mileage from my 'pod haven't I? I love it more than I love blood. I mean my blood. You can have yours. Relax. I don't want it. Really.)

1. "Fall On Me"-REM. I usually skip this one because I need to be in a certain mood for Michael Stipe's exceptional drone in this song. One of the least favorite songs I like from REM.

2. "Sinking"-The Cure. Off to a dark tone. Love the bass that plays for the first half, before Robert Smith makes us feel like he's got a 376 lb. chain around his neck and just fell into the River Thames. Can you imagine how well off you'd be if you owned a pharmacy in his neighborhood?

3. "Is It Like Today?"-World Party. More happy stuff! This song is at least ten years old, I think. I picture Al Gore singing it for a year after the 2000 election.

4. "The Way You Look Tonight"-Frank Sinatra. Now we're rolling! It was probably a bad idea for me to just attempt to wake up my wife and get her to dance with me though.

5. "Love Is A Stranger"-Eurythmics. Man I love Annie Lennox. If memory serves she covers a lot of ground in the back of a limo in the video for this song (pining; nothing else-get your minds outta the gutter). "And love love love is a dangerous drug."

6. "Slow Emotion Replay"-The The. Might have the the greatest single lyric I've heard in my life: "Everybody knows what's going on with the world. I don't even know what's going on in myself." This is the the dude (this group was pretty much one person) who has that song on the the latest TV ads for M & M's.

7. "Are You A Hypnotist??"-The Flaming Lips. Well? Are you? (That just never gets old) I can type perfectly to the rhythm of this song. This is from one of the greatest road trip CDs ever, but only if you are driving through Utah.

8. "Hiding Out"-Pete Townshend. First heard this song in the fall of 1985. Didn't figure out that he's singing "I am safe hidden here" in the refrain until 2002. One of my ten favorite songs ever. You'll never get this CD from me. Never. Don't even try.

9. "Short Skirt/Long Jacket-Cake. Hey don't these guys have a song called "Frank Sinatra"? Random stolen-idea i-pod list symmetry. I had my first ever Kareoke experience last October and I wanted to sing this song but it was not available. Yeah, I'm singing now. To myself. C'mon, it's 2:54.

10. "Skybird"-Neil Diamond. Well this is awkward. Actually it isn't. I remember listening to the 8 track of this entire album back in the 70s. I'm almost 40 and I think the strangest technological thing I've ever seen is how an eight track would sometimes switch tracks in the middle of a song and you just had to accept the fade-out fade-in in the middle of the song. Rally each thought.........at the sight of your silver wings!

11. "Rain King"-Counting Crows. I first wrote Black Crowes and I'd do that cool thing where instead of deleting something you just cross it out, but I have no clue how to do that. And now I'm going to go to sleep hearing Chris Robinson singing this song.

Hat tip to Brando. Go Hawkeyes.

09 February 2007

A sign that I might need to get out more often

I just watched an entire episode of "Touched By An Angel."

07 February 2007

The Brief History of My Psyche

One thing that I have told myself I need to do this year is read more. So far, so good; one week into February and I am already on book # 7.

Last night I started reading The Brief History of the Dead by Kevin Brockmeier. I had read the opening chapter of the book in my first graduate fiction workshop three semesters ago and have been meaning to read the whole thing since.

One of the settings in the book (and I am not giving anything away plot-wise by revealing this) is an unnamed city where people go when they die. The dead remain in this city and exist in a sense that resembles their human life (they eat, have jobs, etc.) until the last living person on Earth who has a memory of them dies. When that happens, they disappear immediately from the city. No one knows to where.

I've been thinking about this concept of a living city of the dead all day today. Ironically, I began reading the book on February 7th, my father's 73rd birthday, and the fifth birthday since his death in 2002.

This is not a missive about living without my father. I have addressed that subject before several times since his death. I had a sort of epiphany last year on this day when I realized that if he had survived the day that he died, I had a feeling he might have died by his 72nd birthday anyway.

I've accepted his death. I did so a long time ago, and I am proud, in a way, of my ability to have moved on. Everyone in my family seems to have done this. I see now that you almost have no choice. You either die or go insane if you don't.

What if there is a city of the dead? I think about Dad being there, with his brothers, his in-laws, his friends-all people I have memories of and therefore would be in the city with him-and others who I have no memory of, like his mother (long dead) and his father (who died nine months after my birth), but still have people alive who remember them.

He'd be there a long time too, as there are plenty of young people on this planet who remember my father.

As I said, I've been thinking about the idea of a city of the dead a lot today, about him being there, and most importantly, the fact that he would most likely still be there when it became my time to be an inhabitant of this place.

It's pure fiction, I realize, but most of us spend our lives holding on to a belief that Heaven exists and if we are fortunate enough to get there, we will be reunited with our departed loved ones. A sort of city of the dead, except there would be no disappearing from it.

I'm certainly no fan of death. I find the concept of a world without me impossible to understand. I know that civilization had thousands of years here before I came along and will most likely have thousands more after, but the world exists entirely in my head, in my mind, and when I die, when it dies, all that goes away. It's enough to obsess about, and there are times in my life were I have obsessed about it, and I'm sure I will do so again.

It's like dreading a perpetual root canal appointment.

But what if Heaven exists? What if my father is there, will always be there, and I will see him and spend eternity with him someday? Why be so resistant to that idea? The realist in me does not accept the concept of blind faith. I just can't believe in something because I am told that it is so. I need proof. I wish it were different, but it isn't. That doesn't mean that I don't believe in Heaven. I look for proof every day of my life and at times I think I find it, but I am always unsure.

Someone once told me that the idea of Heaven is incomprehensible, and always will be. It's just something that we as humans lack the capacity to understand it. This person also told me that once they accepted that they would never be able to grasp what Heaven was, they were able to believe that it existed, and they looked forward to seeing it someday.

That person is dead now. They have their answer. 

 

 

31 January 2007

Don't write angry

Too late.

This is what I get for stopping on Fox News while channel surfing.  Hannity & Colmes.  What was I thinking?  The topic: global warming, in advance of the report that is being released by the UN this week on climate change in relation to human activity.  Two "experts" were included in this debate, two science professors from schools that I have never heard of, and (surprise, surprise) they were adamant that the idea that man is in any way responsible for global warming is preposterous. The basis for their opinion was the "fact" that there is "no evidence" that shows man has had an affect on Earth's climate.

A "network" that claims to be "fair and balanced" would surely counter with the idea that there is no evidence that man hasn't contributed to warming as well, correct?

In his resplendent smugness, Sean Hannity mentioned Al Gore 57 times in about five minutes, how evil he is that he has politicized the issue of the environment.  One wonders what Hannity sees when he looks into a mirror.

This really isn't about Fox.  I saw a piece on Keith Olbermann's show as well, which was more from a pro-environment side, if you can imagine (too bad there is no sarcasm font available) and I found myself aggravated as well.

In the matter of ten minutes, I was reminded twice that global warming has become a hot-button political issue.  And that makes me insane.  Why is this right vs. left?  I understand how each side feels about sub-issues ie. the Democrats are pro-environment and the GOP are pro-business, but this is something that has the potential to affect everyone, so why is it reduced to red vs. blue?

I know that there have been plenty of Republicans who have said that they believe that global warming has to be addressed, and good for them, but it's just talk.  The Democrats have talked as well.  Nothing is getting done.

I shake my head when Senator Jim Inhofe from Oklahoma gets on television and says that global warming is a "hoax", that God would never allow his creation to destroy this planet (did I miss when the ICBMs started growing on trees then?) and makes it plain that as long as he sits on the environmental committee (which he used to chair-another reason to thank God for the 2006 election results) that he will fight every single pro-environment measure (see his wikipedia page for a detailed synopsis of his environmental views.  The man is a national treasure.  Where's that font???).

And I'm not all that fond of Al Gore either.  He's a polarizing figure, and he knows it.  Yet he made sure that he is the one on stage for almost all of An Inconvenient Truth.  Gore could be on stage reading Sesame Street scenes and it would cause a political firestorm.  He can't escape the fact that so many people dislike him simply because of his politics, and therefore believe that everything he gets involved with is strictly for political gain.

Gore has stated again and again and again that global warming should not be considered a political issue.  If he was 100% serious about this, he would have had someone else giving the lectures in the documentary.  The man loves the sound of his own voice.  He may be noble to the cause, but there is plenty of ego there.

A few years ago I was spending a few days in Portland, Oregon and ventured over to Powell's (by far the most amazing bookstore I have ever seen).  In my hours of wandering I came across the science section and noticed a book called The Life and Death of Planet Earth.  I am somewhat of a fatalist.  The title of this book intrigued me, so I started to read. 

I wound up sitting there, on the floor, for two hours, reading the book in its entirety.  A lot of it I already knew-how the Earth was formed, how it goes through climate cycles, how there will be ice ages again, and eventually, many years from now, how it will die.  And the consensus of the two men who wrote the book is that man is probably incapable of doing much to alter this cycle, but it could certainly speed it up.

The closest planet to Earth is also the one that most resembles our planet with respect to size: Venus.  It's sometimes referred to as Earth's sister planet.  But upon closer scrutiny, the two planets probably could not be more different.

At least for now.

There's a reason that NASA talks about going to Mars one day but never mentions going to Venus.  No one has actually seen the surface of Venus-it's perpetually shrouded in heavy clouds; maps and images of the surface have all been done scientifically.  You just can't see what's going on on Venus.  NASA can't land a probe there either.  The air pressure on the surface of the planet is estimated to be ninety (that's 9-0) times that of Earth.  Probes that have studied Venus from above its atmosphere have been crushed once they descended through, well before reaching the surface.

Like Earth, Venus has an atmosphere dominated in composition by a single gas.  Unlike Earth, which has an atmosphere dominated by nitrogen (78%, oxygen is 20%), Venus is 96.5 % carbon dioxide, which means most of the sunlight that makes it way to Venus never leaves; the ultraviolet waves (and its radiation) are trapped by the massive amounts of carbon dioxide.

The average temperature on Venus is over 900 degrees Fahrenheit.  No planet is hotter, not even Mercury (average 800), which sits closer to the sun.

Why the science lesson?  Well, every time I hear someone say that global warming is a myth, I want to ask them if they've been to Venus lately.  As more carbon dioxide finds its way into Earth's atmosphere, less sunlight escapes from the atmosphere, and it gets hotter.  We need carbon dioxide; humans exhale it and plants inhale it.  We'd be dead without it.  But like anything else essential for human life (water, iron, etc.) too much of it can kill you.

The single greatest invention in modern history (say the last 150 years) is probably the combustion engine.  Without it, we don't fly, we don't drive, we don't do a lot of things.  It has made the world smaller, more accessible.  But it has also made us more vulnerable, because when a combustion engine creates energy, it also creates carbon dioxide, which goes straight into the atmosphere.  In the last one hundred years, since the combustion engine was invented and utilized around the world, the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere has tripled. 

It seems that it should be hotter, and it is.  Winter barley exists in Chicago anymore.  It's snowed more than an inch twice.  2006 was the hottest year on record ever, worldwide.  2007 is projected to be hotter.

Now it might be just the evolutionary cycle of the Earth.  But what if it isn't?  Or what if our advances in technology are accelerating this warming?  Wouldn't we want to do anything and everything possible to avoid it?

We don't know what we are doing to this planet.  It might be nothing.  It could be something.  It seems that the way to react to it is assume that we are doing nothing.

Why? Simple. Even if we are contributing to the demise of this planet, the real effects won't be felt for at least three or four generations to come.  Some forecasts say that if the arctic ice continues to melt that the ocean levels will rise enough to have Manhattan completely under water in 150 years.

But the dead don't care if New York City becomes the new Atlantis.

Hey, why should we?  Let's live for the now, baby!  Buy that new SUV, or even better, splurge on that 8 mile per gallon Hummer.  Crank up the air conditioning, build more coal plants!  This is our planet, let's enjoy it now.  Who cares about those who won't be born for another hundred years? (more font, please!)

I'm not advocating the elimination of fuel combustion, nor do I believe that this country could get anywhere near the point where we do not have smokestacks belching coal remnants into the atmosphere. I understand that economic factors have to be taken into consideration.  Everything has a cost.  I may not like it, but I understand it.

I'm trying to come up with an analogy here, and I think I found one that works.  Say you decide that you need to buy a gun so that you feel protected in your own house.  That's your 2nd Amendment right.  Let's also say that you have three small, extremely curious children living with you.  What are you going to do with the gun?  Will you leave it out in the open, loaded, with no safety precautions, or will you lock it up, keep it out of reach, so that none of the kids can get to it?

You know what you are going to do.  You're going to lock it up, because even if you told your kids not to touch the gun, even if they never, ever do anything that they are told not to do, even if you trust them to always do the right thing, there is always the possibility that somehow, someday, that gun could go off in one of your children's hand if you leave it out unprotected.

You're going to lock up that gun, because even though there's a 99.9 % chance that your kids will never touch it, 99.9 % is not 100%.  If you leave that gun out, someone might get killed.

We might be accelerating the demise of our coastal cities, our species, our planet.  The truth is that none of us will be around long enough to know just what the actuality is, if global warming will be as catastrophic as some claim it will.

But the potential is there, so why wouldn't we take action?  How long do we have to wait?  Do something.

People like Senator Inhofe, who believe that there is no possibility that global warming exists, need to do two things, in this order:

1. Take a little vacation. To Venus.  My treat.

2. Lock up their guns. 

 

17 January 2007

Hey look, it's working

I am entirely too dependent upon technology.  It's been almost three weeks since I've written anything here and, not coincidentally, that was the last day that my laptop decided to recognize the wireless signal in our home.  I've been trying to figure it out ever since with no success, despite the many, many, many, many attempts of myself and my brother, who thinks I am Typhoid Mary when it comes to electronics.

Yesterday it all came back.  I did nothing.  It just decided to work again.  So here I am.  There's been a lot in the last seventeen days that I would have written about if I weren't fighting the urge to chuck an Inspiron out the window.  I give an abbreviated version here:

1. I have a brand new niece, born a week ago Monday, and dammit, she's just about the cutest thing on the Earth right now.  She was breaking hearts already in the nursery I bet.  Get used to it boys.

2. Where the hell is winter?  We finished a Seattle-like run recently, forty degrees an dreary every single day for ten days, which is what winter in Chicago is becoming.  But global warming is a myth!  It's cold now, but we've become such wuss-bags here that everyone freaks out when it gets down to 20, which is what it is now.  I'm actually a little jealous of the folks in Denver with all the snow they've had this year.  It's snowed twice here this winter.  Twice.  And the last one was a dusting of an inch or so after a steady rain that would have been ten inches had it been five degrees colder.  Rain in January is torture.  Spring better be here by Valentine's Day.

3. On a related note, we were in Kansas City this past weekend, where it was colder, snowier and icier than it was here, and you would have thought that the world was coming to an end with the way the people there were reacting.  Did I just see a snowflake?  RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!  Look, sleet!  Where's my "The World Is Coming to an End" sandwich board?  We were in the main shopping district Saturday night (The Plaza), the busiest part of town, and the streets were empty.  We tried to go into a Barnes and Noble but it was closed.  According to the sign, they had closer early "for the safety of our booksellers."  It was 20 degress with an inch of snow on the ground.

4. I have little to say about our Worst. President. Ever. and his new idea to send more troops to get killed in Iraq.  I did not watch the Worst. President. Ever. give his speech last week.  I can't watch him anymore, so I wait until transcripts are posted and read them instead.  He's doing the wrong thing again, surprise, and I love those who scream that at least it's a plan, like you have to do something instead of nothing.  And then there are those who blame it all on the Democrats (big surprise here) and conveniently forgot about the ever-increasing numbers of those in the GOP who think our Worst. President. Ever. is crazy.  Remember folks, no matter what anyone else says, nobody puts American troops in more harm than our Worst. President. Ever.  Enjoy the ride down, W.

5. Am I supposed to be happy that Saddam Hussein is dead?  WOO HOO!  There's some vengeance for ya!  YEEHAW!  I don' get how people can be so hell bent on capital punishment.  Which do you think Hussein preferred-the gallows, or a six-by-six hole in the ground where people were welcome to come toss anything at him that they wanted?  I remember thinking that when I visitied the memorial in Oklahoma City that instead of executing Timothy McVeigh that they should have imprisoned him at one end, in a small plexiglass cell with nothing, no bed, plumbing, light etc. and just let him suffer the humiliation of people taunting him for the rest of his days.  Faced with the choice of death or perpetual imprisonent in a small cement cell with no privileges I'd be cheering on the lethal injection machine big time.  And I didn't even touch on the Saddm-as-martyr issue...

6. Bears vs. Saints this Sunday, winner goes to the Super Bowl.  Lived in Chicago all my life.  No one was happier to see the Bears win Super Bowl XX than me, and this Sunday I root for...the Saints.  They've suffered more, and I'm not talking about anything related to Katrina.  The Saints are about the worst franchise in the history of the NFL, yet they have had a rabid, loyal fanbase forever.  Plus, I have to admit that I completely enjoy the devastation of the morons who paint their faces and show up to Soldier Filed with their shirts off on a thirty degree day.  Watch a ten o'clock newscast on a game day here and you will know exactly what I am talking about.  Saints 24 Bears 20.  And if I'm wrong I get to watch my hometown team in the Super Bowl.  It's a win-win.

7. Barack Obama is making a huge mistake.  He should wait at least four years to run for president.  His term as a senator expires in 2010, which is also the next gubernatorial election in Illinois.  We'll all be hankering for a new governor by then, and he should run.  Governors win presidential elections these days.  He could run in 2012 if the GOP keeps the presidency or wait until 2016 if the Democrats get the White House back in 2008.  For the life of me, I don't know why anyone would want to follow our Worst. President. Ever. into the White House.  That will be the equivalent of cleaning ten million port-a-johns at a metamucil festival.