CSI: Madison Avenue

OK, I surrender.

I thought I could do it.

I called out David Bowie.

Queen, too.

I thought that I could keep up with the aging rock stars that sold their songs to ad agencies.  The rule: fine if you want to sell out, but the lyrics of the songs have to change to fit your decision.

Then in the middle of the summer, I saw an ad for C2, the new low-carb Coca-Cola product.  Apparently, when Mick and the boys in the Rolling Stones wrote "You Can't Always Get What You Want" three or four decades ago they were really telling us that sometime in the future, you, yes you, will be able to get all that great cola taste without all of those evil carbs.

Stunning.  I had no idea the Stones were that hard up for cash.  Those rumors about Keith Richards needing a daily blood transfusion must have been true...

I kept it in the back of my mind that I needed to create some new lyrics for the song, but just couldn't quite get around to it. 

Now it's too late.  What's the point?  Have you watched TV lately?  Every other commercial uses a song to schlep a product.

Last night, I watched "CSI: Miami."  In the hour that it was on, there were four different ad breaks.  I lost track of how many commercials there were actual songs in them.

Of course, I was watching the right show for it.  All three "CSI" shows have theme songs that were written and performed by The Who a long, long time ago.  The original "CSI" uses "Who Are You?"  for it's theme, which is kind of cute in a way, I suppose.  "Miami" uses "Won't Get Fooled Again" which makes absolutely no sense unless they want you to think that they screw up the cases the first time and have to go back and solve them, and "New York" uses "Baba O'Reilly," commonly referred to as "Teenage Wasteland."  If you can make the connection to that one, please let me know.  Perhaps the fine folks at the network are telling us Manhattan ain't the kind of place to raise your kids (in fact, it's cold as hell...)

Fortunately for CBS, The Who has been around for about forty years and has an extensive catalog of songs.  Giving person that I am,  I'd like to take this time to suggest which songs they use for  their newest "CSI" shows, which will be premiering continuously throughout the next decade:

CSI: Berkeley, "Magic Bus"

CSI: Atlantic City, "You Better You Bet"

CSI: Boca Raton, "My Generation"

CSI: Utah, "The Kids Are All Right"

CSI: Bavaria, "Squeeze Box" (It's a musical!)

CSI: Seattle, "I Can See for Miles and Miles" (It's a sit-com!)

CSI: Alabama, "Going Mobile" (tell me you don't get it...)

CSI: Alcatraz, "I'm Free"

CSI: Siberia, "Don't Let Go the Coat"

And my personal favorite...

CSI: Crawford, Texas "Another Tricky Day"