Wasting time

It's noon here.  I'm getting married in 210 minutes.  You'd think perhaps I'd have more pressing issues than writing.  But the truth is, I'm bored.  I'm just sitting in a hotel room waiting for the time to start getting dressed.

This is surreal.  I still don't feel much in the way of nerves.  I feel like I am waiting to catch a plane or something.  We've been waiting so long for this day yet it still amazes me that it is finally here.

I miss my father today.  Dad never gave me advice about marriage because I never asked.  He respected the boundaries that his kids had on their lives, and thus only offered advice when asked for it.  I picked his wonderful brain thousands of times, but we never got around to discussing marriage.  I observed it though.  My parents were married for almost 42 years and I was around for the last 35 of them.  I learned many things about creating a loving family from my parents, and I will do my best to lead by their example in my own marriage.  If I am to be a good husband and father, it will be because of what my mother and father showed and taught me.

I am not the most spiritual person.  I struggle at times with the knowledge of science and the unknown of faith.  I want their to be explanations for everything, so at times I find it hard to believe things are so just because they are.  But as I have grown older I see examples of things happening that I believe are the result of faith.  I lost my father almost three years ago.  Nine months after he died, I met the love of my life, the woman that I was destined to spend eternity with.  I don't believe that happened by accident.  I think my father was looking out for me, and made sure he steered me in Kristen's direction.

My mother fell in love with Kristen almost as quickly as I did, and has opened her arms up to her, welcoming her into our family.

For what both my father and mother have done, I will always be grateful.  I may not be able to shake Dad's hand today after my wedding, but I will surely feel him there with me, just as I have every day for almost three years.

I will dance with my mother tonight, and we will celebrate the life that she and my father gave me.