I read the news today, oh boy.

Today, I've reached the breaking point.  This has nothing to do with babies, by the way.

Nope, what I'm sick of today is the media.  Whether it's Clinton/Clinton vs. Obama, or the entire roster of GOP candidates vs. Clinton (hey guys, could you hate Hillary just a little bit more please?), or nonstop coverage of casino's roof burning (could it be terrorism?  we'll examine in just a moment...), or fifty-seven mentions of Heath Ledger (when I am leader of the free world, the first thing I shall decree is that the death of anyone famous can be mentioned in the media for only the first twenty-four hours.  There will be an exception-request process for ex-presidents and the like, but I will likely refuse most of them) or the idiocy that is Drew Peterson, etc etc etc. I've about had it with the way news is reported in this country.  Even newspapers!  Sigh.  I've read the Chicago Tribune daily for as long as I can remember, but I am seriously considering giving it up.  I can only take so much.

This was just a rant.  My day ends with a random eleven:

1. "Cherry Bomb"-John Mellancamp.  I'm not happy with J(C)M as of late.  I remember him ranting and raving about people selling out when he first got famous, and now I can't watch more than ten minutes of a sporting event without hearing him singing for a Chevy commercial (side note to anyone familiar to Chicago businesses: doesn't Sellencamp's "this is our country" refrain sound exactly like the "this is our country" ending to the Countrywide insurance theme song?).  It makes it hard to listen to his music.  I'm so fickle, so holier than thou.  I sold the only house I owned so that it would be knocked down and have a home three sizes larger built on the lot.  I guess that remembrance is why I haven't deleted any J(C)M's song of the 'pod.

2. "Floating"-Julee Cruise.  More "Twin Peaks" music.  If I live to be 200 I will always remember how this music fit into the TV series.  I'm not sure why I included this song.  It's only average compared to most of the selections.

3. "Kid Charlemagne"-Steely Dan.  I have this pipe dream of becoming an English professor (not gonna happen; I don't have the patience for a PhD) and creating a class analyzing the lyrics of Steely Dan.  This song would definitely be on the final.  Is there gas in the car?  Yes, there's gas in the car.  Now clean this mess up or we'll all end up in jail.

4. "Piove"-Lorenzo Jovannotti.  This is from the first Sopranos sound track, mostly sung in Italian.  I can't really explain it if you're not familiar with it.  When I first heard it, I thought he was saying "Bjork" at the beginning.  Somewhere on my desk or in a file cabinet are lyrics to this song to reflect someone's infatuation with the Icelandic pop princess.

5. "Deireadh An Tuath"-Enya.  Heh.  I get what I deserve.  I'm doing this without my headphones, so I am not listening to the music, and originally this spot was taken by a song called "One By One" also by Enya.  I can't remember exactly what song that is, so I decided to skip it.  And I get more Enya!  Words that I can't pronounce!  (By the way, # 3 on my list of "Things that I say that I will do while knowing that there is no way I will ever motivate myself to actually do them" is learn to speak Irish).  So I can't tell you what this song is about, but I can tell you that she chants a bit, and there are a lot of heavy bell sounds.  Perhaps the title translates to "You're a Moron."

6. "All She Wants to Do is Dance"-Don Henley.  Hoo boy.  I have a vivid memory of being at someone's house my senior year of high school and being QUITE angry that a certain girl I had my eye on was locking lips with a friend who I considered to be infinitely dorkier than I was (and who I haven't seen or heard from in more than twenty years) while this song was playing.  I quietly seethed and then drank a six-pack (No worries Mom.  I spent the night); irony is, had she been sweet on me instead, I'd be writing something along the lines of "what was I thinking" in memory of this song.  Ah, teen angst.  I was pathetic.

7. "Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town"-Pearl Jam.  I do love this song, and it seems like Eddie Vedder is the only guy who can sing it.  One thing drives me nuts about this, though.  There are at least three spots where consecutive lyric lines should rhyme, because a word exists that fits, but for some reason whoever wrote the lyrics didn't do it.

8. "Goodbye Girl."-Squueze.  One of those songs that I will be listening to when I am 75.  This is on the greatest hits CD of Squeeze, music that I will definitely be introducing to my son.  When he is a teen, he will tell me that this stuff sucks, and then go listen to it secretly in his room.  I bet on it.

9. "The Well and The Lighthouse"-The Arcade Fire.  Almost indescribable.  This CD has been in my car player for the last six months, I think.  This is one of those bands that I checked out because I kept hearing the same two songs on the radio, and they turned out to be two of the lesser songs on the CD.  This song is about a guy living at the bottom of a well who somehow becomes responsible for a lighthouse.  You want the truth?  You know I'd do it all again.

10. "In Bloom"-Nirvana. Nirvana visits the "Led Zeppelin/Robert Plant School of Naming Songs Where the Title Does Not Appear Anywhere In the Lyrics."  (Lesson 1: when to use "Big Log": wait for it.)  Here's what I want to know: Nirvana was a trio.  Kurt Cobain died, and Dave Grohl has been all over the place since (he's very underrated as a singer and songwriter, methinks.), but what happened to the third guy?  Christ Novolesic (I had to look him up) has been completely screwed by Cobain's decision to off himself.  I'm wondering if there is anyone on Earth who has been more screwed by someone else committing suicide.

11. "Texarkana"-REM.  I actually drove through Texarkana in 2003, and listened to this song repeatedly as I was doing it.  I am sooo spontaneous.  And I don't think the word "Texarkana" is anywhere in the lyrics.  I feel so superficial.