And I wasn't even invited...

...though Mrs. L said that anyone who wanted to participate should consider themselves anointed...or was that annoyed?

SEVEN THINGS I PLAN TO DO BEFORE I DIE

1. Get a job

2. Witness the Cubs win a World Series (I am sooooo predictable)

3. Teach some type of class on a regular basis

4. Visit the Southern Hemisphere.  I'll settle for Australia and New Zealand but it would be nice to sit in an outdoor cafe in Buenos Aires too

5. Weigh less than 180 pounds

6. Grow a full beard

7. Learn to speak Gaelic

SEVEN THINGS I CAN DO

1. Make seriously obscene noises with my right knee 

2. Become friends with anyone

3. Pick the straight-up winners of NFL games

4. Remember pointless crap (events, conversations, etc) from two decades ago

5. Navigate any city so long as I have a map and fifteen minutes

6. Tell my wife repeatedly that she is beautiful and completely insane for wanting to live the rest of her life with the likes of me

7. Tell you who has won every Super Bowl, World Series, NBA championship and Stanley Cup since the year I was born (1967) without having to look any of it up.  I can probably name every NCAA basketball champ as well

SEVEN THINGS I CANNOT DO

1. Cartwheels

2. Sing

3. Fall asleep before 11 PM

4. Vote Republican (though I do fear the rhino)

5. Ice skate

6. Mostly anything that requires technical or mechanical aptitude

7. Spare a square

SEVEN THINGS THAT ATTRACT ME TO THE OPPOSITE SEX

1. K

2. R

3. I

4. S

5. T

6. E

7. N

SEVEN THINGS I SAY MOST OFTEN

1. "Oh well..."

2. "What'd the Cubs do today?"

3. "Hello my name is..."

4. "I'm sorry, was that sarcastic?"

5. "Is that really news?"

6. "Un-&%*ing believable"

7. "Yeah, that'll happen"

SEVEN CELEBRITY CRUSHES

1. Debra Winger

2. Sissy Spacek

3. Meryl Streep

4. Sela Ward (does anyone have those Sprint commercials she did on tape?  The ones were she danced?  Please, for the love of God, help me!)

5. Maura Tierney

6. Christianne Amanpour

7. Jamie Lee Curtis