Holding steady

Nope.  He's not here yet.

We had a doctor appt. today.  According to our esteemed medical professional, whom we like very much, our son is somewhere in between 8.5 and 9.5 pounds.  He's a big kid (he certainly did not get this from me), and my wife doesn't like her doctor as much today as she did yesterday.

Given his size, we've been advised to take proper action, so baring his arrival before, we'll be going to the hospital Friday morning at 6, where they will induce my wife.  Sometime that day (hopefully-I am not letting her read this) we will officially become parents.

I can't really put together how I feel right now.  I suppose I am nervous.  Mentally I do not feel nervous.  Physically I feel like the most nervous person ever.  I feel like a low electrical current is going through my body.  I tell myself that I am not nervous.  It doesn't seem to be working.

About fifteen minutes ago both of us sort of looked at each other and said "is this really happening?"  We've been looking at baby stuff strewn around the house for the last month or so, and it has had the effect on us as if we were only playing house.  What does it take to get the realization of this?  Do we have to wait until we can physically see him?  That's the only thing I haven't been able to figure out about this, why I have this "no, this isn't really happening" feeling.  Not that I don't want it to, more like someone telling us "oops, sorry, we made a mistake."

It's completely irrational.  I guess I thought maybe that I'd never have an irrational thought again.

For the last time, a fatherless random eleven:

1. "The Man's Too Strong"-Dire Straits.  Of course it's possible to make baby connotations about everything that comes up here, but this makes me laugh.  This is one of those songs that make me want to learn the acoustic guitar.

2. "To Go Beyond"-Enya.  My grandmother died on July 14, 1995.  It was during one of the hottest stretches of weather in Chicago history (she was not a victim of the heat) and that night, when I went to sleep in my roasting apartment, I left the CD player on.  I woke up at three AM to this song, and had one of those "I get it, she's OK" moments.  Changes the song forever, obviously, and makes me think fondly of the only grandparent I got to spend any meaningful time with.  Man, she was fun; everything a grandma is supposed to be.

3. "Rocket"-Smashing Pumpkins.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Repeat for the rest of the day.

4. "Miss Halfway"-Anya Marina.  I heard this on NPR (I think it was "Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me") one day and downloaded it shortly afterwards.  Imagine my horror when I found out it had been featured earlier on "Grey's Anatomy."

5. "White City Fighting"-Pete Townshend.  I'm sure that I have mentioned it before but the "White City" album is my favorite album ever, and always will be.  It's not possible that any piece of music released in the future will ever top it.  Had this album not come out in the summer of 1985 (so I could play it to death in the fall of '85), I might not be the person I am today.  Suffice to say it played a big part and getting me through one of the hardest moments of my life.

6. "Lazy Days"-Enya.  I have no dead person story to tell with this one.  Make a joke here about how all my lazy days are about to end forever-actually I'm not worried about that.  I am looking forward to days of exploration with my little boy.  I can't wait for the first time he discovers airplanes, cars, trains, etc.  I could make a list of one thousand things.  The first twenty-five seconds of this song are as strong as any intro I've ever heard.  I can listen to it over and over again.  In fact, I just did.  Seven times.

7. "It's Money That Matters"-Randy Newman.  With a strong assist from Mark Knoppfler on guitar (which with # 1 gives him two appearances a la Miss Enya.  Of all of the people that I used to know/Most never adjusted to the great big world.  This is the only Randy Newman song that doesn't make me want to break something and then impale myself on a spike.  All of these people/are much brighter than I/In any fair system they would flourish and thrive/But they barely survive/they eke out a living/they barely survive.

8. "Oceanside"-Robyn Hitchcock and the Egyptians.  I saw this band in '89 opening for REM in Iowa City and had no idea who they were for about five years until I went into a used CD shop next to my apartment and the owner gave me this.  I'd love to know if they played this song.  Wish I'd paid closer attention.  Stick around for the hum at the end.

9. "Miss Sarajevo"-Passengers.  Better known as U2.  Pavarotti (I know I spelled that wrong-oops, maybe not.  Why is he in spell check?) has a solo at the end of this of which I have no clue what he is actually singing.  This makes me think of a documentary I saw a long time ago about Sarajevo during the war, when they had the Miss Sarajevo Beauty Pageant.  At the end, the dozen or so ladies in competition came out on stage dressed in one-piece bathing suits and high heels, posed for a moment or two, and then unfurled a banner that said "Please don't let them kill us."  It's impossible to ever forget that.

10. "Me and Sarah Jane"-Genesis.  I've known one Sara in my life, I think, and one Jane.  I have never met anyone named Sarah Jane. 

11. "Crazy Love Vol. II"-Paul Simon.  I don't know where Vol. I is.  I always think of Fat Charlie as someone else when I hear this song, someone who was not an architect but had the same bevy of problems he seems to have in this song.

Keep the car running

Hurry up and wait

That is what our life is like now: wait.  Wait some more.  Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.  It has been this way for about two weeks, and will continue to be so until our son decides he wants to join the human race.

It's driving me nuts.

And yes, of course it is harder on my wife, since she's caring the little bugger.  She gets bigger everyday.  I can't imagine how any of it feels.  She has this thing living inside her; it likes to move all the time, and it is particularly fond of poking her in the ribs.  But she's not blogging this.

Waiting for our son to be born is unlike anything I have ever experienced before.  I've been nervous before.  I don't feel like I am now, however, maybe I am so perpetually nervous that I don't understand it.  For the length of the pregnancy I have been waiting for all of this to "hit me."   I remember when I bought my wife's engagement ring was when it "hit me" that I was getting married.  We've bought a crib.  A dresser.  A car seat.  A stroller.  Lots and lots of clothes (OK, some of these things have been bought by others, obviously), etc. etc. etc.  Everything is ready.  We just need a baby.  So when will this "hit me"?

This baby boy is going to be here within a few weeks (he's due the 22nd, but if he waits that long his mother may never speak to him).  From the middle of summer I have said December 14th, which is six days away.  Six days.  Holy schnikies.  We are about to become parents.

Every time I see the empty crib, when I see all the clothes in the closet, the bottles in the pantry I find myself wondering how much longer?  I haven't been in a position like this in a long time, where I have to wait and wait for something and I have no control over it.  I can't remember how long it has been since I've had to deal with something like this.  It certainly has returned the anticipatory feeling of Christmas that I used to have as a kid.  But this is the birth of my first child, one of those "never again" events.  I might have more kids, but only one gets born first.  This is an event, man.  Why aren't I going more insane?

I was on the train a week or so ago heading into the city when a woman with a baby boy got on and sat a few seats in front of me.  The kid was maybe six months old, and once he saw my face, he never stopped staring at me.  At first I thought his smile was cute, then I thought it sinister, like he knew what was coming soon and was saying "Ha!  You have no idea what you are in for!"  God, he was adorable.  And for the rest of the afternoon I kept telling myself that I get to have one of these soon.

If he ever decides to get here.  He can take his time.  My fingernails will grow back.

Time for a hurry-up-and-wait random eleven:

1. "Some Days Are Better Than Others"-U2.  Great.  Cryptic messages right off the bat.

2. "When the Levee Breaks"-Led Zeppelin.  I couldn't make this up.  Maybe I should change the lyrics: "If he keeps on pushing the water's going to break..."

3. "Promenade"-U2.  I have a cousin who is a U2 freak.  She once tried to scale the giant fence outside his home in Killeney (I was there-she didn't get a foot off the ground).  Her name is Teri.  This song has a moment where Bono sings "Oh, tell me, tell me that you will dance with me" except it sounds like he says "Teri will you dance with me?"  I'll never forget her reaction when I finally got her to understand this.  We had to listen to it fifty-seven times.

4. "Ain't So Easy"-David + David.  More parental advice from a group that disappeared faster tham Amelia Earhart.

5. "Readymade"-Beck.  Hmm.  At the beginning some is singing through one of those voice things that make you sound like a robot. It sounds like "baby boy."  Let's see if I get the truth when I google the lyrics: nope. Nobody knows.

6. "Is It Any Wonder?"-Keane.  I suppose you can twist the title of any song to fit a baby scenario, but this is starting to freak me out just a bit.  I swear I am not altering anything.  This is all random.  I always think about Barcelona, Spain when I hear this song because of the line "nothing left in this old cathedral/just these sad lonely spires."  Makes me think of the Sagrada Familia (it's a fascinating building, and the Wikipedia page has a video tout towards the end).

7. "Come Talk To Me"-Peter Gabriel.  The first and only song that I have seen sung in a telephone booth live in concert.  There's a great story about a hobo giving my the eye later that night, but I ain't telling that here.

8. "The Rebels"-The Cranberries.  No group has more songs with lyrics that I can't decipher than the Cranberries.  Dolores O'Riordan wails like a Banshee.  There's a part here when she sings "it wasn't often/that we fought at all."  I didn't get it until the ten-thousandth time I listened to it.  That reminds me of another story (which I can tell here): when I was six I bought a cartoon book at a garage sale, and in one of them, a mother buffalo was admonishing her young buffalo, looking down at him and saying"did I just hear a discouraging word?"  I didn't get it.  More than twenty years later I was at work when all of the sudden it hit me, it's because of the lyric from "Home on the Range."  I wasn't even thinking about it, it just decided to pop up into my head.  I was so excited that I told the story to my boss.  She thought I was nuts.

9. "When I Want You"-Del Amitri.  This band is vacationing with David + David somewhere.  And I just did this again: I misspelled a word early within it, and instead of clicking the cursor over the error I deleted everything back to the error.  What a colossal waste of time.

10. "The Heart of the Matter"-Don Henley.  Probably a good candidate to delete from the 'pod since I always skip over it.  The Eagles have turned into Wal-Mart whores anyway.

11. "Everybody Wants to Rule the World."-Tears for Fears.  Yes they do.  Mitt Romney even gives religious speeches about it.  I've done so well to avoid politics here, because both sides make me insane (tell me who is more qualified among the candidates then Bill Richardson?  He's been a successful governor, an ambassador to the UN (hello, foreign policy) and an energy secretary.  He also has a distinguished record in diplomacy, which will be the most important thing that the next president of the US will need).  I'll have to address this eventually, of course, but for now it makes my head spin.  It's bad enough my son has to be born under GW, but he might have to live his first four years under Guiliani, Clinton or Romney?  Whoa.

Enjoy that turkey!

I know I should lay off my poor mother and not re-post this, but it continues to be the best Thanksgiving story I have ever heard.  Mom, you know that I love you and that we are all laughing with you, not at you.  And yes, I laughed again when I saw the turkey for the first time this year.

(This is from November, 2004)

Is that a neck in your turkey, or are you just glad to see me?

I would like to apologize to my mother in advance, for being unable to resist the urge to tell this story.

My fiance and I had Thanksgiving dinner at my mother's home this year, with the rest of my family.  My mother is an excellent cook and has prepared many wonderful holiday dinners throughout the years.  This year was no exception.

Wednesday afternoon I was home as Mom placed the frozen turkey in the sink to began preparations to cook it.  At one point as I was walking through the kitchen, I heard her say that something was missing.

I don't know anything about cooking turkeys.

I looked at the turkey in the sink.  Mom had removed two packages from inside, which I assumed to be giblets and something else, a liver maybe, since it was dark.  My mother and I then had the following exchange:

Mom:  Doesn't it look like it is missing something?

Me:  Um, the head?  I hear they usually get rid of it before they sell them.

Mom:  I mean from the inside.  There should be something else.

Me:  I don't know what's normally inside a turkey.

Mom:  It's male parts, it's missing it's male parts.

Me:  WHAT?

Mom:  The male parts of the turkey aren't inside like they usually are.

Me:  (Just now understanding what she is talking about)  I'm never eating turkey again...

As I said before, I know nothing about cooking turkeys.  I can identify the parts of the turkey after it is cooked, but I have no idea how it is packaged.  So I did a little research and found that when you buy a turkey, there is supposed to be a package inside it that contains the giblets and the liver, and also the turkey neck.  For all I knew before, I thought the neck was still attached and you just cut it off when you prepared the bird.  I don't even know what the point of including the neck is.

Then it hit me.

My mother, who later told me that she has been cooking turkeys for over 40 years, thought that the neck that is normally included inside the turkey was instead, um, "something else."

That something else being what puts the "Tom" in turkey. 

Upon further questioning, my mother, being the sport that she is, freely admitted that she has always thought that the turkey neck was not a neck.

This explains why the neck has never been part of a holiday meal in her house.

And why I will never not laugh at the sight of a turkey, live or dead, cooked or uncooked, again.

 

 

Relax, this will solve everything

So how about that World Series prediction?  I guess the Rockies swept the Red Sox in the bizarro World Series.  Moving on...

Apparently, there is a huge water shortage in the Deep South.  If it doesn't start raining soon, Atlanta is going to run out of water.  The idea of a major metropolitan American city not having any water strikes me as a failure of planning.  Surely someone saw this coming, right?  Anyone?  Hello?

Here he comes to save the day!  Georgia Governor Sonny "Mighty Mouse" Perdue has an idea: invite a whole bunch of folks to gather next week outside the state capital and pray for rain.

Bat. Shit. Crazy.

Well, I guess it can't hurt.  It's not like praying for rain will take the remaining supply away, but even for the Deep South, this seems a little nutty.  What if it doesn't work?  Does everyone come back the following week for a mass two-steppin'?

Ted Turner lives in Atlanta and has a bajillion dollars.  Can't he just buy a lake or two from Minnesota (which can certainly spare it) and move it down there?

I forget the name, but there is apparently a rural town in Georgia that has water restrictions for all but three hours of the day.  Try doing everything you need water for in three hours-shower, wash clothes, dishes, flushing toilets.  I bet folks fill up whatever containers they can find for three hours.

I have heard it said more than once that the net big conflict in the Middle East isn't going to be about land.  Instead, it'll be about water.  There's not nearly enough for everyone over there.  Here, Florida and Alabama are starting to battle with Georgia over who is entitled to what water remains in the area.  Maybe this is the beginning of the next Civil War.  We'll have dry states vs. wet states.

It doesn't matter.  It's all going to end next week.  I'm sure that a torrent of rain is being conjured up as I write this somewhere off the coast of Africa, ready to arrive and soak the great evangelical state of Georgia.  All they had to do was ask for it.

I can't help but imagine the outrage we'd be hearing from conservatives about this water shortage if a Democrat held the Governor's Mansion in Atlanta (what, you didn't know Perdue was a Republican?).  They be getting all frothy about mismanagement, how the governor dropped the ball.  They'd be clamoring for Jeb Bush to come in and solve everything, just as soon as he brings Terry Schiavo back to life.

There's a Republican governor in Georgia, so it's no one's fault that there's soon to be no water, because things like this happen so damn quick. 

Time's not for wasting.  Y'all got some praying to do.

And the winner shall be...

I've been to Boston.  I've been to Denver.

I've been to Fenway Park.  I've been to Coors Field.

So far, it's a draw.

For the Colorado Rockies: how can you not get completely behind a team that has gone 21-1 since mid-September?  In the first fifteen games of the streak, they went 14-1.  If they had gone 13-2 they wouldn't have even made the playoffs.  We'd be getting ready for a Boston-San Diego World Series, and given the current conditions in Southern California, there could have been the first-ever neutral site game in a WS.  How can you not root for a guy like Todd Helton?  The guy went three-for-four and the day he was born.  He's been a Rockie his entire career, mostly filled with losses, and he could have demanded a trade to a contender anytime since 2000.  Instead, he stuck around and never complained.

Against the Rockies: they been in existence only since 1993.  Give me an 'effin break.  One hundred divided by fifteen is almost seven.  Jealousy is so unbecoming, so I'll just call it envy.

For Boston: It's Boston.  Love the city, love the ballpark.  Plus the Red Sox play the game right.  They are the anti-Yankees.  Sure, they won in 2004, after not winning since 1918, but they've suffered enough to get it twice in four years.

Against Boston: They won in 2004.  For a franchise that suffered as much as the Red Sox did, they ought to not get greedy; let everyone share the wealth.  You wait 86 years and then get two in four?  I don't think so.  Plus, Boston sports fans are on the verge of being absolutely insufferable right now: the Red Sox in the Series; the Patriots are 7-0, beating teams with one hand tied behind their back, and look like they might be the best team ever in NFL history; and the Celtics went out and grabbed Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen and are one of the favorites to win the NBA title.  No town deserves such a run.

God, sometimes I absolutely hate being a Chicago sports fan.

I'm calling it: Colorado in four; they complete the greatest run in history, waking up in mid-September as an also-ran, then going 25-1 on their way to a championship.  If that indeed does happen, we will never see the likes of that again.

(Sound of me ripping my heart out and eating it for the eightieth time since the Cubs were swept by Arizona)

Haven't done a Random 11 for a while:

1. "The World Spins"-Julee Cruise.  This album ("Floating Into the Night") was the de facto soundtrack to "Twin Peaks."  In hindsight, the music was better than the show.  It's lasted longer, anyway.

2. "Fade Into You"-Mazzy Star.  A one-hit wonder from '95 or so.  This song reminds me of a huge apartment that I used to live in above an educational store in Oak Park.  I could look out the thee front windows at so much going on, all hours of the day.  Oak Park is a completely under rated suburb.

3. "Rain in the Summertime"-The Alarm.  This song brings out a pet peeve of mine-singers that ruin a good musical intro by making some odd noises.  I love The Cranberries but Deloros O'Riordan wrote the book on this.  See also "Elevation" by U2 and "Born of Frustration" by James.  Go yodel in the Alps, boys.

4. "Fire Woman"-The Cult.  OK, if there's no one around, I usually dance around the house to this song.  I wish we had a balcony.

5. "Raspberry Beret"-Warren Zevon.  Yes, Warren Zevon.  His version is much better than anything Prince could do.  Who would you rather have sing "I think I, I think I love her!"?

6. "Caring is Creepy"-The Shins.  I wonder if Zack Braff gets any of the firstborn from the folks in this group (this is the song that plays when he rides the cycle with the sidecar in Garden State)?

7. "Trip Through Your Wires"-U2.  It's been a while since I sat in the dark and listened to The Joshua Tree from beginning to end.  Did it quite a bit in college.  I had a rough first year.  SNIFF

8. "What's the Frequency Kenneth?"-REM.  A good example of a song that I did not like for a while after it came out, and then one time I listened to it and really dug it.  Not too long after that I saw Dan Rather sing it at a soundcheck at MSG.  If you don't know why that's hysterical, I can't help you.

9. "Warakurna"-Midnight Oil.  I've found this band to be incredibly divisive; people either really like them (like me, obviously, since it's on the 'pod) or really, really, really hate them (Hello, Shecky.  Haven't heard from you since the demise of the Cubs.  Hope you didn't do something stupid).  Still have to get to Australia.

10. "Sweetwater, Texas"-Fastball.  A rare accomplishment-a ballad that a band seems to insist including on a rockin' CD that is actually good.  Not long ago I was driving in downtown Springfield when I heard this song, and now when I hear it I think of Abe Lincoln.

11. "Wild Honey"-U2.  Another song I wasn't nuts about when it first came out.  Now, I need to find a place that has it on Karaoke.  And a decent singing partner.

 

    

Might be time to relocate...

Seems like there is a lot going on in the world today:

1. Raging fires in Malibu
2. Dick Cheney seems to be ready to take out Iran all by himself
3. Louisiana just elected the first Indian-American governor in the US

and in Chicago: for what seems like the 3212th time this year, a school aged child has been killed by gunfire while walking down the street.

So as I turned on the news at 10 tonight, which one of these stories do you think was the lead story?

How about none?

Bears 19, Eagles 16.  Gotta have priorities.

It's not gonna happen

If I may quote Robert Frost: 

This is the way the season ends; not with a bang, but a whimper.

I've been through too much to ever say that I'm embarrassed to be a Cubs fan, and I'm not about to say it now.  Well, that was quick.  Wednesday night, 9 PM, I was giddy with excitement.  Seventy-two hours or so later, it's gone.

The Diamondbacks didn't just sweep the Cubs, they obliterated them.  I think if the teams played twenty more times, Arizona would win 'em all.  So it's kind of hard to feel that bad about a team that got dominated.  I've felt this type of feeling before.

(See: Atlanta Braves, NLDS 1998)

The only thing I struggle with is the decision that Lou Piniella made in Game 1.  His stud starting pitcher was cruising, dominating the Arizona hitters.  Unfortunately the Cubs weren't doing much on offense, and the game was tied 1-1.  Piniella pulled Carlos Zambrano before the 7th inning, and the D'Backs scored two runs right away, winning that game 3-1, and essentially ending the series, since the Cubs never recovered.  After the game Piniella said that he pulled Z because he was bringing him back for Sunday's Game 4 on short rest.

Tomorrow is Sunday.  There's no Game four.  How's that decision going for you Lou?

Of course, there is no guarantee that if Zambrano had remained in the game that the result would have been any different.  We'll never know.

Forgive me if I am repeating myself, but I never expected this, not in 2007.  This year was all about getting rid of the stench of the Dusty Baker years.  The Cubs over-achieved this year.  I am not making excuses.  They rolled over and died in the playoffs.  Faced with the chance to do something that it seems half of the world is waiting for, they collectively wet themselves.  Ugh.

I anticipate next year already.  Perhaps the world is supposed to wait for the Cubs to end their long championship drought so that my to-be born son is around to see it.

(Of course, should the Cubs win it next year, he won't remember it, much like anyone born in December of 1907 doesn't remember the last time the Cubs won the World Series)

I have discovered something about the Cubs in the playoffs: as soon as they lose consecutive games, they are toast.  They've made the playoffs five times in my life now, and every single time, as soon as hey have lost two games in a row, they go on to lose the series:

1984: Up 2-0 against San Diego, lost the next three to lose the series 3-2

1989: Lost first game in Chicago to San Francisco, won the next, then lost three in  row in SF, losing the series 4-1

1998: Swept 3-0 by Atlanta in first round

2003: Beat Atlanta 3-2 in the first round (won, lost, won, lost, won); then lost first game of NLCS to Florida, won the next three to go up 3-1 and need just one more win in three possible games to go to the World Series, but lost the next three, and the series 4-3 to the Marlins.

2007: Swept 3-0 by Arizona in the first round.

That's unbelievable.  Every time the Cubs have made the playoffs in my life, they managed to get knocked out by losing three in a row. 

(I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit)

That's life.  I'll be back next year.  In the meantime, I am pulling for a Cleveland-Colorado World Series.