Ah, debate season, when the American public finally gets to see their presidential candidates in a real sense, without barriers and spin. It's an honest, open debate where voters learn everything they've ever wanted to know about the candidates...
And I have the ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
I'm trying not to be cynical about tonight's debate, and I will watch, but I don't expect anything out of the ordinary double speak. President George W. Orwell has no reason to be specific about anything and I don't expect him to do anything except say that the world is better with Saddam in jail.
Challenger John Dukakis, er, um, Mike Kerry, will say things in a much more complicated context than he needs to, and when the possibility exists that he can refute one of the many ridiculous and untrue ways that he has allowed the Republicans to label him, he won't. By the end of the night he will be viewed as rigid as ever.
I'll make this as simple as possible, so if you have something better to do tonight I suggest you go ahead and do it instead of watching the debate.
Orwell needs only to say one word the entire debate. When asked a question, he should simply look straight into the camera and say "BOO!"
Kerry-Dukakis should borrow a line from SNL during the Bush-Dukakis campaign. Every time he gets to speak after Orwell, he should only say "I can't believe I'm losing to this guy!"
Sadly, I know I will write about this tomorrow. I'll do anything and everything to see that Orwell is not returned to office, but Kerry-Dukakis has miles to go before he sleeps, and I can see him just lying down by the side of the road for a few minutes before this night is over.