Yeah, I did it

Wanna make something of it?

I set my VCR to record a movie showing on Lifetime tonight.

Two words:  Debra  Winger

And I'd do it again.

Attention society:

Just a quick reminder that when we reach double-digit days in January, it means that the HOLIDAYS are OVER. 

TURN OFF YOUR OUTSIDE DECORATIVE LIGHTS.

Violators (should be) subject to shut off of their electrical service.

Carry on!

Freeze!

I'm not a big fan of winter, so when I'm asked to share a humorous story about it, I have to dig a little deeper than normal.  Winter for me as a kid was watching out for all the different places that I could tell dogs had visited.  I always feared that I would slip on a patch of ice and fall into something "yellow."

There's a reason for that fear that is not winter-related, and will NOT be shared here.

Anyway, I can recall two separate incidents when things froze, one painful, one humorous.  The coldest night ever in Chicago was in January of 1985, I believe (I know that I was in high school).  So of course on that night, with the temperature approaching -30 I decided to go to a concert with a couple of friends of mine at the Rosemont Horizon, about thirty minutes away from my house.  I believe it was a double headliner, REO Speedwagon and another band that I can't remember now.  What I can remember is offering to drop my friends off at the door while I parked the car, thinking that the walk across the lot to the arena wouldn't be a big deal.  I was so wrong.  I had a hat on, yet by the time I got inside, my ears were stiff.  It was unbelievably cold crossing that lot, and then once the show started and my ears thawed, it felt like they were on fire.  I spent the entire show in tremendous pain.  And of course, after it was over, when we had to go back out to the car, I did it again.

That was painful, here's funny:

About ten years ago I was coming home from work in the middle of the night on a very cold winter night.  I had bought a few things at the grocery store on the way home, and as I grabbed the bags out of the car, I did what I always do when I need both hands, I put the keys in my mouth and let the keychain dangle from my teeth.

Only this time I put the keys on my tongue.

I knew as soon as I did it that I had made a big mistake.  They froze to it immediately.  My first instinct was to rip them off, but thankfully I rejected it.  I walked across the back yard to the house (I was still living at home) and found that everyone inside was asleep, which was good, because no one would see what I had done.  Unfortunately this also meant that the door was locked, and my key to unlock it was on the chain that was currently dangling from my mouth.

Somehow, in the dark, with a key firmly attached to my tongue and a chain of other keys hanging out of my mouth, I was able to maneuver the right key to the door and unlock it.  If you've never tried to unlock a door with a key frozen to your tongue, I suggest you try it.  Once inside the house I went into the bathroom, filled a dixie cup with warm water, and slowly poured it onto my tongue until the key came loose.  That hurt as well, but I was laughing too hard to feel much pain.

I have always been proud of myself for getting out of that jam without ripping half of the flesh off my tongue, and for keeping it a secret from the rest of my family, for if this had happened during normal waking hours I would still be hearing about from them.  I will now anyway, since I have outed myself.

Now everyone knows why I don't laugh as hard as everyone else during that scene in "A Christmas Story" when the kid licks the metal.

Extra Credit: The non-Christmas song that reminds me most of winter is U2's "A Sort of Homecoming."

Aha!  And the other band was Survivor.

Other thoughts on the Hall of Fame

I may be ecstatic over Ryne Sandberg getting into the Hall of Fame, but the rest of the process for this year is a complete joke.  Sandberg and Wade Boggs were the only men to be voted in, and while both deserve it, they should not have been the only two.  Someone please explain to me how these men did not make it:

Bruce Sutter- Forget his stats (which are good enough to be in), he deserves to be in solely because he was the first to throw the split-finger fastball.  That pitch has changed the way people pitch in the last twenty five years.  He had an excellent run as a closer for several years, won a World Series with St. Louis, and was as reliable on the mound as anyone during his prime.

Rich Gossage- He was one of those pitchers that could blow you away.  He could tell you that he was going to throw a fastball right down the middle and dare you to hit it, and you would still miss it.  He was durable, reliable, and a winner.  Plus, he had a really cool mustache.

Lee Smith- Anyone with 478 career saves deserves to be in the HOF.  Smith got a majority of these before the era of the easy save that started in the 90's, when closers would come in to a game at the beginning of an inning with a two or three run lead.  He, like Gossage, could blow you away with his fastball, but he also had a slider that crossed degrees of longitude when it was working.

(Side note here, all three of the closers played for the Cubs.  Since it is common knowledge that I live and die for the Cubs, I'd like to publicly disaparage any thought that I am simply looking out for members of the fraternity.  Sutter and Smith started the careers with the Cubs, but were just as effective elsewhere, while Gossage was well past his prime when he took up residence on the north side.  All three of these closers are among the best in history.  Active closers like Smoltz, Rivera and Gagne will one day be in the Hall, but if they get there via the benefit of "easier" saves than these guys (and Dennis Eckersley already has), then there is something wrong with the way the game regards its pitching pioneers.)

Bert Blyleven and Tommy John- I group these two together because their numbers are so similar.  Bly won 287 games, John 284.  Doesn't longevity count for anything?  Blyleven threw the greatest curveball I've ever seen (if he threw it in Montreal, it would wind up in Pittsburgh) and John, who had a surgery named after him, for God's sake, had to rely on mastering breaking and off speed pitches to succeed.  It's ridiculous that these two don't even come close to getting in.  Next century, when pitchers who win 200 games in their career are considered great, the game will be embarrassed that it took so long to recognize these two.  Jim Kaat belongs under this reasoning as well.  Jack Morris too.

Andre Dawson- Yes, another ex-Cub, but let me ask you something: only three players in history have at least 2700 hits, 400 home runs, and 300 stolen bases.  Two are Hank Aaron and Willie Mays, and I'd be willing to wager that 99% of the population knows who they are.  Who do ou thinl is the third?  Dawson.  He was dominant in the mid-80's, when he played in the baseball obscurity that was Montreal, before coming to Wrigley Field in 1987.  He won the NL MVP his first year there.  People bemoan the fact that he performed poorly in the two playoff series he played in.  Big deal.  He was constantly part of the "who is the best player in the game" debate in the late 80's and early 90's.  If nothing else, baseball ought to spring for free knee replacements for the rest of his days since he toiled on the asphalt fields of Montreal for so many years.  If his knees had not broken down, he would have reached 500 home runs, 3000 hits, and would have been a first ballot choice.  His not being close to inclusion is perhaps the biggest transgression.

Oh well.  I don't have a vote, and even if I did, one more vote for these players would not be enough to change anything.  Baseball writers are a strange bunch.  Unless you have Ruthian stats, they expect you to patiently wait a few years until you are deemed acceptable to belong, unless health robs you of your skills, as was the case of Kirby Puckett having to retire early due to glaucoma.  Good thing Kirby didn't have knee problems instead.

I've been to the Hall of Fame, and it's a special building.  Baseball may have lost its innocence in my eyes a while ago, but the Hall of Fame is different.  It allows me to see the people that I grew up reading about, guys who were long dead by the time I knew who they were.  It's as historic a place as I have ever seen, and if I could, I would remind those responsible that there is still plenty of space where they display theplaques of those enshrined for new members.

The veterans committee votes in March (if you are not voted in by the media in the first fifteen years of eligibility, only the members of the Hall can vote you in).  If Ron Santo (ex-Cub warning, yes, but COME ON!) is not voted in, I may never give credence to the process again.

Rant finished.

Charging Ryno

It's a dreary day here in Chicago.  The sky is a deep gray, it's cold, and we are going to be hit soon by either an ice storm or a large amount of snow.

A perfect time to turn my thoughts to baseball.

Ryne Sandberg has made it into the Baseball Hall of Fame today, on his third try.  If you aren't from Chicago and don't follow baseball, you might be asking "Ryne who?"

After a brief stint with Philadelphia, Sandberg played for the Cubs from 1982 through 1997, with a season and a half retirement in the mid-90's.  Though he never won a World Series (mind you he was playing for the Cubs-sigh) he put up spectacular offensive and defensive statistics consistently during his career.  He holds several team records, and I believe he still holds the major league record for consecutive errorless games played.

The best thing about Sandberg is that he kept his mouth shut and let his talent speak for him.  He played everyday and always at his full effort.  He was a model teammate and never once was engaged in any off field controversy.  For some reason, it took three years of voting to get him into the HOF, despite having the best career numbers for a second baseman in the modern era.  He wasn't one for self-promotion, and in reality, that probably delayed his being voted in.  Not enough people out there knew who he was. 

Sandberg wore uniform number 23.  In Chicago, if you mention 23 you think of Michael Jordan (who had a few good years in this town himself).  MJ arrived in the fall of 1984, two years after Sandberg.  '84 was Ryne's greatest year.  He won the National League MVP award while leading the Cubs to the playoffs for the first time since 1945 (recalling that year for this piece is giving me goose bumps), and cemented himself as a Wrigley Field legend.  Everyone so often I will stumble across a game from that season on "ESPN Classic", Cubs vs. Cardinals, in which Sandberg homered twice in the late innings to tie a game that the Cubs eventually won in extra innings.

If you happen to see this game and you enjoy baseball, I implore you to stick around to the end.  It's what "The Natural" should have been.

I suppose it is fitting that Sandberg will officially be enshrined into the Hall of Fame 23 years after he began playing for the Cubs.  No offense to Michael Jordan, but he's not the first legend in this town to immortalize "23."

But don't get me started on Andre Dawson being snubbed...again.

 

New year, old philosophy

So it is that another year has come to pass.  And I am sitting in a meadow with my one true love.  She reads to me as the clouds filter over us and sweet drops of sunlight bathe our souls in heather...

Sorry, once I wrote that first sentence I thought I was writing a pastoral poem.  Forgive me.

So 2005 is here.  Each time I find myself looking at a calendar that says "January 1" I inevitably ask myself how one year could go by so quickly.  2004 went faster than any previous year of my life.  It wasn't a bad year.  It was rather good, actually.  I didn't break any bones, my car is still running, and I wasn't arrested in a case of mistaken identity.

When I was a kid, I always thought about the year 2000 because it represented something, a different time, the future.  When I was ten thinking about what it would be in 2000, all I knew was that I would be an adult.  I had no idea what I would be doing.

We are four full years past 2000 now.  I don't really think about the future in a way that I did twenty years ao.  Now that it is 2005, I have become the sort of person who lives life one year at a time.  I have plans, of course, that extend past this year, but I have no definite time table of which to accomplish things.

It's odd to feel this way, to know that the years are passing, that I am getting older, that my time on Earth is growing shorter.  I can hear it in the background...tick...tick...tick...tick...

All I want to do in 2005 is make it to 2006. 

Another double shot

Because twice is better than once:

(From last week)

1. Did you travel for the Christmas holidays?  If so, how did you get where you were going and how was the trip?  No traveling this year.  In fact I think I have only travelled for Christmas once ever.

2. Did you get most of the gifts you were hoping for? I stopped "hoping" for gifts a long time ago.  I appreciate the thought that goes into the process when someone gives me a gift and sort of feel like I shouldn't be hoping for anything.  And, when you don't hope, you can't be disappointed!

3. If you were to check Santa's list, would your name appear to indicate that you had been good enough in 2004 to have DESERVED those gifts? I think so.  I'm a pretty boring person, so I don't see why I wouldn't be on the good list.

4. If you HAD to make one New Year's Resolution next year, what would it be? Shed some meat from these bones.

5. READER'S CHOICE QUESTION #36 from Mrs. L:  What is your favorite kind of Christmas cookie or dessert? Cherry pie

6. READER'S CHOICE QUESTION #37 from Promise:  Who inspires you the most in your life? Hmm.  This is a toughie.  My father's memory inspires me to live this life as best I can, but since he died, my mother has shown me how one can triumph over adversity, so I'll go with her.

(And this week)

1. Where were you when the clock struck midnight?  With whom did you ring in the new year? My fiance and I were watching television.

2. Do you have any foods you always eat on New Year's Day, and if so, what do the foods signify for your family? If my memory serves, we always used to eat prime rib for dinner on Jan. 1, though I don't now, so I guess the answer is no.

3. Do you believe that these "superstitious foods" work? Until this moment, I had never thought of the concept of "superstitious food. "

4. Did you make any New Year's Resolutions this year, and if so, which of them do you honestly expect to have kept by December 31, 2005? I resolve not to make any resolutions.  I've never seen the point.  It seems to me that I would only be setting myself up for disappointment.

5. What is the most enjoyable DVD you purchased in 2004?  What's the most enjoyable DVD boxed set you purchased in 2004? I didn't buy any.

6. What would you most like to see change in AOL Journal-land in 2005?  The rate of which the numbers of my hit counter increase!