I am dealing with a feeling of sickness in my stomach that I've never quite felt before, nausea of indescribable measure, and almost--almost--feel like dying is a better option. Have I:
1. Eaten a pound of raw oysters left out in the sun for half a day?
2. Spent the last week on a fishing boat in Antarctic waters without any Dramamine?
3. Watched five minutes of the Republican National Convention?
Who had two minutes in the "how long until the first time 9/11 is referenced at the RNC" pool? You've won an authentic Alaskan Wilderness chastity belt.
Did you know that the GOP is now "The Party of Unwed Mothers"? I actually heard someone say this on television. He (of course it was a "he") was being serious.
There isn't enough Pepto Bismol in the world to save me. Must...turn...off...TV...now...