24 September 2005
Just peachy, thanks
I'm in a bit of a funk.
Why? Why not? So many good reasons. And yes, I am well aware of the fact that thousands upon thousands of people have lost all their worldly possessions to hurricanes recently and it may seem ridiculous for me to complain about anything.
Humor me. I need a reason to write.
I was sleeping peacefully this morning when our two cats decided to jump on the table next to me and rearrange things. This bothers me for so many reasons. One, I haven't slept "peacefully" much lately, so when I do, I like it to last as long as possible. Second, I'm a bit of a freak about what is one the table next to my bed. You'd look at it and think it was just a pile of junk, but there is a method to it. It's definitely set up to be a cat-free zone. Third, I was unable to get back to sleep. Waking up before eight on a free Saturday morning is just wrong.
A few weeks ago, in the middle of the night, I was having a dream. I was at my wedding reception, and all of my relatives who are no longer with us were there, sitting together at a back table. I noticed them and started to walk over there, thinking that it was going to be so wonderful to get caught up with them.
Then a cat jumped on me, and I woke up. Dreamus interruptus. I would have loved about two more minutes of that dream.
Needless to say, the cats are now officially on double secret probation.
So I spent some time watching the news. I am sympathetic as anyone to the awesome power and potential for tragedy that a hurricane brings, but can someone please explain to me why it is necessary to have reporters standing out in the middle of the storm? What insight could they possibly give me? There was a guy on CNN last night strapped into a wind tunnel at Virginia Tech so that he could show us what it's like to be standing in the direction of 100 mile an hour winds. He looked ridiculous. Do you think there are scores of people who had planned to go down to the coast to experience a hurricane first hand but stopped when they saw this?
New rule (as Bill Maher would say): reporters are only allowed to report during hurricane conditions if they are strapped to a kite. Whatever happens, happens. If Anderson Cooper wants me to watch him gambol outside during Hurricane McSassy, there has to be risk involved. And potential priceless comedic moments.
Allow me to pause here for a big shout out to my alma mater, the University of Iowa, for their stellar performance so far this year on the football field. I have managed to watch the beginnings of two of their games this year, and have turned both off in disgust because after only two minutes, I knew they were not going to win. I don't get the chance to see the Hawkeyes much anymore. I'd like to see them at least be competitive, for, say, a quarter.
23-3 + 31-6 = 54-9 keep up the great work, lads.
Ah well, tomorrow is another day. Did I mention that on September 24 in Chicago that the relative humidity is about 6000%? We've got kudzu growing in the kitchen now.
I hope it doesn't get the cats.