24 July 2005

Breaking news...sun comes up in east

It busted the 100 degree mark in Chicago today for the first time this century, and, of course, it's the top news story of the day, because, you know, it never gets hot here.

Same thing happens in the winter; we get more than two inches of snow and all the newsrooms go nuts with sending out reporters to local hardware stores so that they can get shots of people buying snow shovels. 

"Welcome to the news!  I'm Biff McSparkland.  Today Martians landed in our city.  But will they need a coat to handle this chill?  Let's go to Forest Shatner in the Weather Center for tonight's top story..."

Hey look, thousands of people went to the beach today.  Better send over a special investigative team to see if sand indeed fills up those "hard to reach areas."

I was watching television tonight.  During a break they went to the news, and I heard the main anchor say that tonight, they'll be giving tips for beating the summer heat.

If they have ripped off my idea of lots of hot coffee and a parka, I won't be happy.

1 comment:

alphawoman1 said...

Gosh, this is funny!