19 June 2005
Thoughts on today
I have to be honest; since I was 12 and discovered golf, the first thing I think about on Father's Day is that it is the day that the US Open plays its last round. I've got it on television as I write this.
Growing up, we never made much of a big deal about Father's Day. My Dad loved being low key and hated attention. He'd acknowledge our cards and gifts, but that was about it. We never did anything else.
The most memorable Father's Day my family spent was my first, June 1967. My parents chose to have my baptism that day, and they did not plan on it being so difficult to find a place open for a little celebration meal afterwards. My sister, who was three at the time, was extremely vocal about how she was being starved to death. I think she still feels resentment to this very day...
So today is not that big of a deal for me. My father passed away in 2002, and I was fortunate to realize long before that day that we had an exceptional relationship. I didn't need a specific day to appreciate my Dad, and I still don't. I think about him every day, love him dearly and look forward to the day when we see each other again.
I was able to see my father-in-law for a short time today. He lives out of town but had a layover in Chicago before flying overseas on a business trip, so my wife and I were able to meet him for lunch. He is a wonderful man, devoted completely to his family, and he has welcomed me into it from the first time I met him. I will always be grateful to him for that, and I know I am lucky to have him as my father-in-law. I don't look at him as a replacement for my own father, as no one could, but I do find comfort in knowing that if we have a problem or need some advice, he is available for us.
What I find myself thinking about most today is the future, and the fact that if everything progresses as we hope it will, soon we will be parents, and I will be a father. I don't know if I can adequately describe how I feel about that. It is what I look forward to most, what I feel I was put upon this Earth for. I was lucky enough to spend a great deal of time with my nephew when he was a newborn, and as I watched him grow I realized that I enjoyed being around him and other children. As my friends and family have had kids I continue to enjoy their company. I love kids. I just thought that perhaps it was not meant to be for me to have any of my own.
Thankfully, I was wrong about that. I met my wife later in life than most men do, and as a result I will be pushing 40 when the first wee one comes along. We won't have large family, for many reasons, and I am fine with that. I would rather have a couple of kids that I can fully devote myself to, though there was a time where I could have seen myself with five or more.
I'm a lucky man. I was blessed with an exceptional father who's love and influence will last until the end of my days, and as I approach the point in time where I too will be a father, I am confident that I will pass along the same to my children.