28 January 2004

A new Texas two step

I fell into the San Antonio river Tuesday.  Sort of.  If by "fell" you think that I was completely submerged in the water, then technically I didn't fall into the river.  I guess you could say that my right foot fell into the river, but there's really no reason why I did not go completely in.

Downtown San Antonio is beautiful, and the highlight is the River Walk.  It's a loop of paths that run under the streets next to the San Antonio River.  It's a neighborhood among itself with shops, restaurants, bars and hotels.  The river is about fifteen feet wide and isn't very deep.  It's not particularly guarded either.  I walked about five miles around it today and saw nothing that would prevent anyone from going in.  The Final Four is going to be in San Antonio in March.  Given the revelry that I assume takes place in this town, I would think more than a few Blue Devils, Tar Heels, Wildcats and Huskies might find themselves taking a wrong turn while trying to get back to the Hilton and end up in the drink instead.

Who says you have to be drunk to take a splash at the River Walk?  Certainly not me.  I was walking back towards my starting point this afternoon around two when I had my brush with wetness.  I wasn't paying attention and stumbled on a crack, lost my balance, and started to fall into the river.  My right foot went into the water.  My thoughts were that I was going to actually fall into the river with a blood alcohol reading of .00, and I wondered what would kill me first, drowning or embarrassment?  Somehow, my left foot remained flat on the pavement, and I was able to propel the rest of my body in its direction and save myself from falling completely in.  I have no idea how this happened.  I have a theory, though.  It just wasn't embarrassing enough.  I think that there is a level of embarrassment that brings you to the point of no return, that is, if you reach it, it kills you.  In that situation, if you actually go into the water, you die of embarrassment.  Sure, your lungs might be full of water, but that's only because you decided to suck it all in and drown rather than face the fact that twenty people just saw you fall into a river. 

Not that any of the twenty or so people who saw this asked if I was OK, which was fine with me.  Anyone know how to say "I meant to do that" in German?






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