..for the Cubs to win the World Series.
Seriously, I get my mail Wednesday, and I notice that this week Sports Illustrated is doing what it does about once a month, conceal the cover with some lame attempt to get me to buy some golf clubs or a book series. I remove it to look at the cover, and what do I see?
"Hell freezes over. The Cubs will win the World Series."
Wunderbar! I know I have spent some time relating my thoughts on curses when it comes to the Cubs and how I don't believe them, but then there is really no scientific proof that a goat can cause sixty years of futility. The cover of SI is a different matter. There are countless examples of people and teams whose high hopes have imploded once they appeared on the cover. Anyone remember who SI picked to win the college football championship and was thus plastered on the cover of the season preview issue this year? Try Oregon. A few years ago it was Arizona. Both were out of contention before I had a chance to finish reading the issue.
Last year there was a cover story devoted to the cover curse. No one would agree to be pictured on it, so there was just a black cat. This is more than a curse, it's a command, an amendment to the constitution of Murphy's Law.
I'm hyperventilating. Couldn't they have put the Yankees on the cover instead? Put it to good use. Or even better use-put George W Bush on the cover.
Cubs' pitcher Kerry Wood is pictured on this cover. I am expecting to put the news on some day soon and hear that he was mauled by a giant scorpion in Arizona.
Hey, SI, put ME on the cover. Please. In the back of an armored truck with the headline "Man bets entire contents of US Mint on any team to win World Series other than the Cubs."
Believe me, that would be money well spent.