Superhero time! What boy doesn't spend most of his childhood dreaming of what he would do for humanity if he only had unlimited powers? Well, me, for one, but now that I am grown and have time to think about it, all you have to do is ask.
I would enter into legend as "Matrimony Man." Some would say that Jennifer Lopez has beaten me to that, but it's not what you think. There was a time in my life when I had a tendency to be the next-to-last man a woman dated before she married, meaning that as soon as she and I were through, she'd meet the man of her dreams. I can first recall this happening in college, and it went on through most of the last decade. The time we spent together was irrelevant; all you had to do is go out with me once, then WHAM!, prepare to be dazzled-by whoever came along next.
Sometimes I think it would have been the right thing to do to try to actively seek out those distraught about the lack of companionship. I can picture the scenario-it's a Friday night, and Ms. Smith sighs as she looks out her window, wondering when, if ever, she is going to meet "the one." My nuptials sense tingles, I sprint into action with a bouquet of roses and reservations to the sleekest joint in town. Next thing you know, Ms. Smith has a rock on her finger and is picking out a dress, but I am far away, waiting for my next call.
Who needs a marriage amendment anyway?
I am soon to be married myself, so "Matrimony Man" has seen his time come and go. But it was a great run while it lasted. Can superheroes consult?