02 November 2004

Live from Chicago-it's Tuesday night

Live election blog part 1

7:00 I'm an hour late, but I had to eat dinner before diving in to CNN.  Here's what I missed:

-Bush wins Indiana ( a strange state, since they elect either party to Senate, the House and Governor, but always go with the GOP presidential candidate), Kentucky and Georgia.  Kerry wins Vermont.  Before the hour ends, Bush wins West Virginia.  I can start coloring my map now.

-Zell Miller's senate seat is going to a Republican.  No truth to that Johnny Isakson faces Miller in a duel tomorrow morning for his leather chair.

-Early returns show George Clooney's dad, Nick, is losing his House race.  Can I make an ER joke here?

7:03-- If I went outside and found the sharpest pieces of rock, slit open my throat and grated the stone against my trachea, my voice would still be more pleasant than Larry King's. 

7:05--There is a group of people outside CNN's studio who think that they are at a baseball game sitting right behind home plate, waving while talking on cell phones.  Ted Turner (does he still own CNN anyway?) needs to invest in some pudding.

7:07--Hmm.  This is the first time I've tried a real-time blog, and my wit is suffering.  I hope I get better.

7:09--No surprises in the states just announced, except for maybe New Jersey, which is Kerry's.  I've already heard the fact that NJ lost more people on 9/11 after New York 17 times tonight.  Bush has 66 electoral votes, Kerry 77.

7:11--We bid adieu, softly, to Alan Keyes.  I am wiping away tears as I write this.  Has someone gassed up the jet to Maryland yet?  Will Barack Obama get 70% of the vote?  I say no, too many people will have voted for Keyes just for kicks.

7:15--It should be noted that I am having these thoughts and things are being reported about three or so minutes before I am writing this. 

7:26--Vanessa Kerry is on CNN.  She looks surprisingly like Ann Coulter.  Speaking of which, I saw the video of the attempted pie-ing of Ms. Coulter in Tucson last week.  She was wearing a rather skimpy dress and shrieked as she ducked away from the pies.  Guess it has to be seen for yourself.

7:35--Bush takes Virginia and South Carolina.  In related news, I take oxygen into my lungs and expel carbon dioxide from them.

7:40--I take a few minutes and look at some Senate and House races.  The GOP has a 51-49 majority there now, and it looks like that might change in their favor by a seat ot two.  Carson in Oklahoma is going to lose; that was the race that I thought if the Dems won they could have maybe snuck into control.

7:45 --My mother is wincing every time it is announced that Bush is the projected winner of a state, despite every state called is going according to projection right now.

7:55--Lots o' states polls closing in five minutes.  Time to wrap up the first hour.


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