This makes me laugh, not because I am unsympathetic, but because I am also a "victim."
I was in San Fran for a few days last June. Saw a Giants game, took a stroll across the Golden Gate Bridge, and hung out in Chinatown. But what I remember most about SF was my encounter with the Bushman. I was walking along Fisherman's Wharf in the middle of the afternoon and I headed up the street next to it looking for a place to eat. It was one of those stretches where there are souvenir shops all over the place, sidewalk vendors, a place catering completely to tourists. As I made my way I noticed a large group of people standing on the other side of the street looking at something near where I was, though I did not notice anything out of the ordinary.
Then it hit me, literally. Out of the corner of my eye I saw what I thought was a rather sickly looking shrub growing up against the fence, but as I passed it, the branches lunged towards me and roared. I must have jumped ten feet back, and the gang of people across the street gawking laughed hysterically. Only when my heart returning to a normal beat did I notice that the bush was instead a street guy crouched behind some fake branches. He would silenty wait without moving until he saw someone completly unaware of his presence. Apparently, I could not have been more unaware, though in my defense his disguise was brilliant.
It was embarrassing to have what seemed like a thousand people laughing at me, but I have to admit that once I got over the shock, I spent fifteen minutes on the other side of the street watching other people become shrubbery victims.
I never saw more inventive homeless people than I did in San Fran. I even played a little soccer with one in the middle of the street at 2 AM using a bus shelter as a goal after a few too many beers and Neil Diamond songs at a sports/piano bar. That game ended when the guy rifled a shot that went wide of the "goal" and slammed into the plate glass window of the jewelry store behind it. The glass did not break, but it did set off the alarm.
Try to do that on Lower Wacker.